Second Chances
by TeaLee
Summary: This story contains spoilers for the end of Tales of Xillia 2. Please read inside for the description. I don't want to ruin the end of the game for the people that are still playing it. Just to let everyone know this story will contain BL. (JudexLudger)
1. Chapter 1

**Description: (BLish-Jude x Ludger) **This takes place ten years after the 'canon' ending or the Elle ending whichever you prefer to call it.

Even though it happened 10 years ago Jude is still mourning the loss of the two people that he was closet to. Milla going back to the spirit world to fulfill her role as Maxwell and Ludger giving his life to save Elle. One of those people though is about to return but many questions surround their mysterious arrival.

**AN: **Right now this is just a one shot. Maybe someday I'll add to it especially if people seem interested. I need to finish Come What May first though. Anyway please leave a review!

**Second Chances**

Jude sighed as he tapped his pencil against his desk in rhythm to the ticking clock and the rain pattering against the window. It was ten years ago today that things changed. For the better or at least that's what he reminded himself when the day rolled around. It was hard though. Especially on a day like this; the weather was as dreary as his mood. Even though they managed to save the world again it was also the day that Milla went back to the spirit world without a backwards glance and the day that Ludger gave his life to save Elle. Even though he hadn't known the other man very long he had become one of his best friends. He could talk to him about anything. True Ludger never had much to say but the other man understood him in a way most people didn't or couldn't.

He had sort of become a recluse since then. Jude tried to keep in touch with his friends but it was difficult. They had their jobs and he had his research. Alvin was the one he was still closest with. The man had taken over being his 'keeper' from Leia.

Jude hated to admit it but he really hadn't kept in touch with Elle like he should have. It hurt to look at her. Every time he saw her he couldn't help but think of that day; it didn't help that she had the same eyes as Ludger. Not that he blamed her, far from it. She was an unfortunate pawn in a game she never had any control of. Still that day wasn't a happy memory for him. It was either her or Ludger. Jude always knew the man would risk his life to save her. He just wished that it hadn't come to that.

Jude shook his head. It did no good to dwell on the past. Especially one that depressed him so thoroughly. He put away the paper he had been writing and decided to head to bed early and just get the day over with. Even after ten years he was never able to get any work done on today. He quickly got ready for bed and laid down forgoing dinner as he wasn't hunger anyway.

He found it difficult to sleep that night. He always found it difficult to sleep this night though. Usually Alvin would come and bug him on this day but this year he hadn't been able to as he was stuck in business meetings. When Jude thought about it Alvin more than likely knew how this day upset him and that's why he would visit. To distract him. He could use a distraction right now.

The storm outside continued to rage worsening his mood. Usually Jude liked a good thunderstorm but this was a nasty one. He could hear the wind howl outside and it just reminded him of how alone he really was. True that it was mostly by his own making but it was just easier to get lost in his work than remembering how he had lost two people that he was so close to.

He rolled over in his small bed and looked out the window and watched the storm as it continued to rage outside. Lightning lit up the sky and Jude counted to himself…One…Two…Three…Four and the thunder rumbled. Jude sat up in his bed. The same time the thunder roared it sounded as if someone was knocking at his door. He listened closely. He lived in a small town not far from the research center. More and more people continued to move there but it wasn't that big yet and he didn't know anyone that would be out on a night like this. He almost thought he had imagined the knock and was about to lay back down when he heard it again. This time right as the lightning flashed then thunder a heartbeat after.

Jude quickly got out of bed. If someone was visiting during a storm like this he knew that something was seriously wrong. Hoping that he was wrong and he was just imagining the knock he took a deep breath and threw open the door. Jude stood there in shock at what he saw. He had to be seeing things. It couldn't be possible.

"Lud...Ludger…" Jude stammered as he looked the other man in the eyes. Instead of answering him Ludger toppled into his house and Judge was able to catch him before he fell. He helped the other man to the couch noticing now that the two of them were the same height.

"You're soaking wet," Jude commented after he had the other man sitting on his couch. "I'm going to get you a towel." He went to his bathroom to get one of his large, soft, bath towels letting the doctor in him take over. Take care of Ludger first then he would ask the questions. He returned a moment later to find Ludger sitting on his couch staring at the ground. Water was dripping off of him and making a puddle on the floor.

"Here's that towel," Jude said as held it out to him but Ludger didn't react which he found worrisome. "We don't want you to get sick." Jude kneeled down in front of the other man and dried his hair thoroughly with the towel. As he did so he did a quick visual checkup.

At first glance Ludger looked the same as he remembered him but on closer inspection he could see the changes. True Ludger was the same age as when he last saw him but his hair now was completely white and he couldn't help but to notice the numerous scars that covered the man's arms. Some of them looked years old while others were obviously newer. Not to mention that it looked as if he had lost a lot of weight.

"There we go," Jude said as he hung the towel around the other man's shoulders. "Now we better get you into some dry clothes. I have some things that should fit. Do you think you can walk to the bedroom?" Ludger nodded slowly as he stood up. As the two of them made their way to the bedroom Jude walked close to him just in case Ludger stumbled again. Luckily they made it without any problems.

"There should be something in here you can wear," Jude said as he began to dig through his dresser. Eventually he found what he was looking for. A baggy pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt. "Here you go." Ludger nodded his thanks as he took the clothes listlessly.

"Are you hungry?" Jude asked needing to fill the silence. "I haven't had dinner yet so I'm just going to heat that up while you change."

Jude then left the room without a backwards glance with his mind in a whirl. How, why and who being his top questions. How was Ludger back? Why was he back? Who brought him back? Those questions would have to wait though. Ludger had never been one for talking and he seemed to talk less now. The man had yet to say a word. Something else Jude found troubling. Again he shook his head as he got out a couple cans of soup and poured them into a pot to heat them up. To keep his mind off of the questions he hummed that song that he learned for Ludger all those years ago. He was still humming it when the man came out of the bedroom. The clothes fit him height wise but they hung on him like a sack. It looked as if Ludger lost more weight than he thought.

"It's not quite done yet." Ludger just stood there looking lost. "You can sit on the couch, you know," Jude said with a smile hoping to put the other man at ease. He didn't know if it worked but at least Ludger sat down.

"I'm afraid it comes from a can," Jude rambled once again needing to fill the silence. "I haven't had a lot of time to cook lately, I've been so busy with my research. Not that my cooking was ever good as yours but you know," he shrugged, "I haven't really worked at it either. Again research. So do you want to sit at the table or…" he turned around to look at his guest only to find him lying on the couch fast asleep.

Jude sighed as he shut off the stove and set the pot to the side. It looked as if their meal was put on hold. He walked over to the couch to check on his unexpected guest. Even in his sleep Ludger looked exhausted. Knowing that the other man needed his sleep Jude covered him with the throw from the back of the couch. He pulled up a chair deciding that he would sleep there just in case Ludger needed him for anything. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep; he wanted to get this crazy dream over with.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

When Jude woke up early the next morning his back and his neck hurt. Correction everything hurt. It was then that he noticed that he was sleeping on a chair. His crazy dream then came back to him. Maybe he ended up sleepwalking because of it after all it was a very vivid dream. It was then that he heard quiet breathing coming from the couch. He looked over at it and toppled out of his chair. Ludger was sleeping on his couch!

That meant that what happened last night wasn't a dream and the questions that he was able to suppress last night once came floating to the top of his mind although this time much more forcefully. Last night he had been able to stay calm now he felt his heart thumping against his ribcage; Jude figured that he must have been in some sort of shock last night. It was jarring to see his once dead friend sleeping on his couch.

When he really thought about it though maybe he shouldn't be so shocked. Milla sacrificed herself once and she came back. How it happened though was the question and one he would ask as soon as Ludger was able. The doctor in him once again took over as he noticed a pink tinge to the man's cheeks. He gently placed his hand on the other man's forehead and frowned. It looked as if Ludger had a slight fever. Not that it was surprising with the way he showed up in that storm; the man was drenched. He was taken out of his musings by his GHS going off. Worried that it would wake Ludger, Jude made his way to the bedroom to answer it.

"Hello?" Jude said as he quietly closed the bedroom door behind him.

"Jude I know that you asked for today off but…" Balan started to say but Jude was quick to cut him off.

"Today really isn't a good day," Jude told him with a sigh. Ever since that day he always took off the day before, the day of, and the day after. He didn't want his bad mood to affect everyone else.

"I know that," Balan said sounding truly sorry, "but I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't an absolute emergency."

"What's wrong?" Jude asked knowing that he was going to regret it.

"One of the towers of the research center was struck by lightning last night and all of our machines are now going haywire," Balan explained in a rush.

"Alright," Jude said knowing that he now didn't have a choice. "I'll be in soon."

"Thanks," Balan said sounding relieved. "I promise as soon as we get all of the equipment recalibrated you can go home."

"Sure," Jude said as he ended his phone call.

Hoping that he was making the right decision Jude got ready for work. He threw his nightclothes on Ludger's wet clothes then quickly got dressed for work. He picked up the pile of dirty laundry deciding that he would wash them when he got home. Jude couldn't stop himself from studying the man's clothes. They were a simple black shirt and pants but they were thread bare; nothing more than rags really. He had a feeling that his friend had been through a lot.

Jude made his way back into the living room to find Ludger still, not surprisingly, sleeping. He went over to his cupboard and got down the bottle of medicine then measured out the amount he needed in a small measuring cup before making his way over to his guest. Not wanting to wake him but not wanting him to wake up alone either Jude gently shook him by the shoulder. The reaction was instantaneous. Ludger sat up and reached for a weapon that he didn't have; only Jude's quick reflexes kept him from getting smacked.

"Easy it's just me," Jude said as he held up his hands in surrender. Not that he believed that Ludger was going to attack him at least not on purpose but Ludger was posed still ready to attack. Jude had a feeling that Ludger was going more on instinct at the moment. He watched as his friends muscles relaxed and his face took on a hurt and shocked look.

"It's alright," Jude was quick to reassure him not wanting that look on his friend's face; he made a mental note to himself to be careful when he woke his friend up. "Here take this," he handed over the small measuring cup, "it should help with your fever." Ludger took in one gulp and grimaced at the taste. "Listen I got called into work but I shouldn't be gone more than an hour. Two tops. Will you be okay by yourself?" It took a moment but Ludger nodded. Jude smiled in relief. "I want you to take it easy today and help yourself to anything you find in the house." He got another nod. Jude would have like a yes but he would take a nod.

"Good," Jude said as he headed towards the door. "Like I said I'll be back in two hours."

Unfortunately the two hours turned into six as the lightning had done a lot more damage than they originally thought. He was exhausted. Not only did he have to fix the machines but it was a lot harder to keep quiet about Ludger's return than he thought it would be. He kept it to himself though. He didn't want to tell anyone without his friend's permission. It was late afternoon when he unlocked the front door to his small home.

His nose was immediately assaulted by the smells of home cooking which made his mouth water. Jude wasn't surprised to find Ludger cooking something in a large pot in front of his stove. He remembered after they had killed Victor how Ludger said that cooking helped relax him. His friend seemed unaware of his presence as he continued to cook. He had to admit that the sight of his dead friend cooking in his kitchen to be a bit startling. Jude though enjoyed the sight of it before clearing his throat; he didn't want a repeat of what happened this morning. Ludger jumped slightly then turned around.

"Sorry I'm late," Jude said as he hung up his coat. Ludger shrugged seeming to say _It's alright_. Ludger then held out the ladle that he had been using to stir. Jude eagerly took a sip and smiled. "I really missed your cooking." If he didn't know better he thought that Ludger blushed but the most logically answer was that it was probably a combination of his fever and cooking hot soup.

"Is it done it?" Jude asked. Ludger shook his head as he turned down the burner and put a lid on the pot. "I take it that it has to simmer for a bit?" Ludger nodded as he set the time on the stove. "Then would it be alright if I talked to you about a few things?" Jude noticed that Ludger went tense at the question and all color drained from his already too pale face. Worried that his friend was going to collapse Jude helped him sit on one of the chairs he had around his table.

"I'm not going to force you to talk about things you aren't ready to talk about," Jude said as he kneeled in front of Ludger. The man was staring at his lap and his bangs covered his face so Jude couldn't read his expression. "I was just wondering if we could tell the others that you're back?" Ludger shook his head and Jude sighed. "Well what about Elle? You should at least tell her…" Again Luger shook his head but this time it was accompanied by a sniff. That's when Jude noticed the tears landing on his friend's lap. For whatever reason the idea of telling that others that he was still alive upset Ludger. Another question to add to his ever growing list. Questions it was obvious that Ludger wasn't ready to answer.

"Alright we won't tell them," Jude said as he rubbed his friend's back wanting to give him some comfort, "but at least think about it alright." It was then that the timer on the stove went off. Jude looked at it with a scowl. It had to go off now. When he got up to check the soup, as Ludger didn't seem inclined to, his friend hadn't given him an answer. He supposed it wasn't a bad sign that he outright hadn't shook his head. He turned the stove off and moved the pot to the cool side of the stove so the soup wouldn't burn then dished them out each a bowl.

"Here you go," Jude said as he set one of the bowls in front of Ludger then sat in the chair opposite him. While Jude practically inhaled his food, as he hardly ate anything yesterday, Ludger just stirred his. "Aren't you hungry?" Ludger shrugged as he continued to stir it. Jude frowned. "You should really eat something."

Ludger looked down at his bowl of soup like it was going to bite him. He stirred it a few more times before taking a tentative bite. Much like this morning Ludger's reaction was instantaneous. No sooner had he swallowed the soup then he was making b-line for the bathroom. Worried Jude followed him. He found the other man dry heaving into the toilet. Not liking how one mouthful of soup could upset his stomach Jude wet a washcloth and placed it on the back of his neck until he had finished.

"Maybe you should get some more rest," Jude said as he filled a cup of water so Ludger could rinse his mouth. "You still have that fever." Ludger nodded as he spit the mouthful of water into the sink then drank the rest of the cup; Jude was happy that Ludger was able to keep that down.

"Come on," Jude said as he walked the man to the bedroom. He then tucked his friend in; in all honesty Jude couldn't even remembering tucking someone in before. "I'll be out in the other room if you need anything." He turned around and was about to leave when he felt something grab onto his shirt. Jude turned back around to see that Ludger was gripping the hem of it.

"Would you like me to stay?" Jude asked as he looked down at his friend curiously. Ludger immediately let go looking embarrassed but Jude could also see the fear lurking in his eyes. Without another question Jude sat on the edge of the bed and even though Ludger still looked embarrassed he visibly relaxed.

Jude vaguely remembered a story Julius told about him and Ludger getting lost and how he hummed that song to keep his younger brother calm. So that's what Jude did while running his fingers through his friend's hair just like his mother did for him when he was sick as a child. Even after Ludger had fallen asleep Jude didn't stop his administrations. Ludger's hair was a lot softer than he thought it would be. It troubled him though how his hair now was completely white what troubled him even more was that the man had yet to say a word. Then there were all of those scars on his arms.

"Just what have you been through?" Jude asked the sleeping man then once again started humming. He was content to stay there but his GHS had other plans as it began to ring much like this morning. Not wanting it to wake Ludger up Jude quietly left the room again much like this morning

"Hello," Jude said hoping that that it wasn't work again.

"Jude its Alvin," his friend said. "I'm just calling to see how you're doing."

"I'm alright," Jude said as he nervously ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know if it was a good thing or not that Alvin called. It was taking him everything that he had not to blurt out the fact that Ludger was back.

"Are you sure? You sound a bit off," Alvin said; Jude could practically hear the frown in his voice.

"I'm fine," Jude assured him. "Really. I just had to go into work this morning."

"Work? But you usually take today off," Alvin said sounding surprised.

"I know but one of the towers got hit by lightning and all of the machines went nuts so they called me in," Jude explained as he plopped down on the couch.

"I see," Alvin said not sounding in the best of moods himself. "Listen I'm sorry about yesterday. Since work called you in maybe you can take an extra few days off. We can make a guys' weekend of it. Rowen's out since he's with the chancellor now but we can see if _Erston _wants to join us."

"Maybe," Jude said wondering how he was going to get out of it. He didn't want to leave Ludger alone but Alvin could be fairly persistent.

"You really do sound awful are you sure you're okay. I know how hard this time of the year is for you," Alvin reiterated.

"Yes Alvin," Jude said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm just tired from work. That's all."

"I guess I'll let you go then," Alvin said sounding resigned to the fact that Jude wasn't going to give him a real answer. "You know that if you need to talk…"

"I know. Thanks Alvin," Jude said then ended the phone call.

Jude cracked his back before he got up from the couch. He peeked in his room and saw that Ludger was still sleeping which was a good thing. He hoped that the other man would sleep off his fever. Since he houseguest was sleeping Jude decided that he would go back and work on his paper that he had tried to write last night.

Once again he was finding it hard to concentrate. Last night he had been thinking about the past and now…now his mind was filled with some many questions. The only person that could answer them was unable to. He would just have to be patient. Still he wasn't sure how long he could keep the fact that Ludger was back to himself. The last thing that he wanted to do though was make Ludger cry.

Jude shook his head. He needed to work on his paper so that's what he was going to do. Once again though his concentration was wavering and he was finding himself rereading the same paragraph from one of his reference book several times. Before he realized it he found himself nodding off and soon he had fallen asleep using a book as his pillow.

It felt like he had only been sleeping moments when he felt someone shaking him by the shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Ludger giving him a chastising look. He reminded Jude very much of his mother when he was caught snitching sweets before dinner.

"Sorry," Jude said as he stretched. "I have a habit of falling asleep at my desk." Ludger shook his head clearly calling him an idiot. "Did you need something?" Ludger slowly nodded then handed over several pictures that Jude had scattered through his place.

"You want me to catch you up with everyone?" Jude asked. It took a moment but eventually Ludger nodded. "Then let's do this someplace more comfortable." He led the silent man to the couch where he took the stack of framed photos from him.

"This one is the only picture of all of us together," Jude said as he handed over a group photo. "You never did get to see it." As Ludger studied it he had a wistful smile on his face that was touched with sadness. "You're right it isn't quite all of us. We never did get a picture with the other Milla."

Jude was about to get through the rest of the pictures but stopped. Ludger had been gone ten years to the day. If he didn't know how long he had been gone he knew that some of the pictures might upset his friend. He looked like he hadn't aged while the others did especially the girls. "Do you know how long you've been gone?" Ludger nodded and Jude noticed how the sadness had returned in full. "Are you sure you're up for this?" Another nod so Jude continued.

Next he handed Ludger a picture of Alvin standing with several people in front of a newly opened store all with big smiles on their faces. "This is Alvin and his partners, a mix of Rieze Maxians and Emplians. This is the first store that they opened. They have opened several since then. Alvin has become quite the business man." Ludger pointed to the name on the building. "Yeah the sell goods from both countries. They are one of the few business that do."

"Now this one is Leia right after she got promoted to editor of the paper," Jude explained as he handed over the picture. It was one of Leia sitting on her desk with a huge smile on her face. "She was so excited about that stupid desk. She's been editor for three years now and she still talks about it." This time Ludger pointed to a pencil sticking out of Leia's hair making Jude chuckle. "You know, I never noticed that before. She'll be so mad when I point that out to her."

"This is one of Gaius getting his first GHS," Jude said with a laugh. Ludger didn't laugh but he did smile so Jude took that as a win. "I know it's already broken and he hasn't gotten any better with them. I think he's on his fifth one."

"Here's one of Rowen, Marcia, and Elize," Jude said and chuckled when Ludger's eyes went wide. "I know. Elize grew up to be very tall and a diplomat as well. She idolized Rowen and Marcia and wanted to become like them. Rowen on the other hand retired around five years ago and Marcia about three." Ludger pointed to a ring on Marcia's finger and Jude nodded. "The two of them have plans to get married soon."

Jude hesitated before handing over the next picture. He didn't know how Ludger was going to react but the man was looking at him expectantly. Hoping that it wouldn't be too much for him Jude handed it over. This one showed two young woman standing next to each with big smiles on their faces.

"This one was taken really recently," Jude explained. "It's Elle's graduation. Much like Elize she became a diplomat. They two of them have become very close and became just like sisters. Right now they are taking a good will tour to all of the ports and train stations of the two countries."

Ludger gave the picture a watery smile as he looked at the two girls then pointed to Elle's smiling face. "Yes she's happy. Everyone's happy actually." Ludger titled his head to the side.

"Am I happy?" Jude asked. His friend nodded. "For the most part I guess. I mean I have my research." Ludger pointed to Milla in the group picture. "Milla? I mean I miss her. She left right after you…" he trailed off here as that wasn't a pleasant memory for him. "She had her job to do though and I had mine. Work came first for both of us. I guess that told me something. Right?" Ludger looked at him quizzically. Jude was going to try and explain it further when there was a knock at the door.

The calm atmosphere the two of them had popped like a balloon. Ludger gave him a slightly startled looking before making his way to the bedroom and closing the door behind him. Jude sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. He needed to figure out why Ludger didn't want to see anyone. Whoever was at the door knocked again so Jude got up to answer it.

"Hey," Alvin said standing there with a smile on his face holding couple bottles of beer.

"Alvin what are you…"

"I thought you could use some company," Alvin said as he walked in.

"I told you I was fine," Jude said as he closed the door behind him.

"Reminiscing?" Alvin said as he picked up one of the photos from the coffee table ignoring him completely.

"Something like that," Jude told him as he glanced towards the bedroom door.

"And you said you were fine," Alvin said with a roll of his eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with remembering the past," Jude told him as he again glanced as his bedroom door. He really wanted to tell Alvin the truth.

"Yeah but…I know how hard these few days are for you," Alvin said quietly. "And since I wasn't able to come yesterday and you sounded so awful when I talked to you earlier…"

"You might as well stay for a drink then especially since you brought them," Jude said. Normally he would have been relieved to see Alvin on a day like today but with his current house guest.

"And something to eat," Alvin said sound hopeful. "Something smells good."

"I forgot about that," Jude said as he looked into the kitchen. The soup Ludger made was still on the stove.

"You forgot?" Alvin said with a frown.

"Ah…just let me heat it up," Jude said quickly. "You can sit at the table."

"Did you have company?" Alvin asked curiously.

"What?" Jude asked at he turned around to look at the man who was in turn looking at the two bowls on the table. "Oh! That's just from two meals." He didn't like lying but he didn't have much of a choice either.

"Sure," Alvin said doubt clearly in his voice. "You didn't finish either one."

"No I guess I didn't," Jude said with a frown as he gathered the bowls from the table. He didn't like how sick Ludger had gotten from eating one mouthful of food. And in his opinion Ludger couldn't afford to lose any more weight. "Maybe vitamin supplements or something like that."

"Vitamin supplements?" Alvin asked.

"Sorry," Jude said quickly as he cursed to himself, "just thinking out loud."

"Alright there's something going on and you need to tell me what it is," Alvin said with a scowl.

"There's nothing going on," Jude told him hoping that Alvin would drop the subject but going by how the man had his arms crossed over his chest he had a feeling that it wouldn't happen.

"I don't buy that," Alvin said.

"I…I can't tell you. I'm sorry," Jude said.

"You can't tell me or you won't?" Alvin asked.

"I can't," Jude told him quietly.

"You're not in trouble again, are you? Like getting threatening letters?" Alvin asked.

"No, nothing like that," Jude was quick to reassure him. A few years ago he had gotten a few death threats and kept them to himself. Because of that it almost ended badly for him. Alvin scowled in return clearly not believing him. "Alright I do have someone here but they…they're kind of hiding out and they don't want to see anyone."

"Who?" Alvin asked as he narrowed his eyes.

"I…let me go talk to them first. Just be patient for a bit," Jude pleaded.

"A bit," Alvin agreed but Jude could hear the reluctance in his voice.

Jude gave a nod of thanks as he headed to the bedroom and even though he knew he didn't need to he knocked on the door. It took a moment but it eventually opened a crack. He took that as a good sign as he opened the door just enough so he could get through. Ludger was standing there looking a little lost.

"Alvin's here," Jude told him. "He suspects something is going on." Ludger didn't say anything just absentmindedly rubbed his arm where a very deep scar was. "I was wondering…" Jude took a deep breath not sure if he should even ask what he was about to ask, "…if we could just tell him." Ludger bit his bottom lip so hard Jude was worried that he would make it bleed and he could see tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

"You've been through something really terrible, haven't you?" Jude asked as he went over to the other man trying to look him in the eye; something Ludger was refusing to do. "Are you afraid of what everyone will think of you?" The tears now falling freely down his friend's face was all the answer that he needed. "None of us will think less of you no matter what you've done or been through but I understand how you feel and I won't ask you to tell anyone else until you are ready. I would appreciate though if we could just tell Alvin and I am only ask this because he's here and already suspects something." Ludger still looked hesitant.

"I'll explain the situation to him. You don't even have to see him if you don't want to. Just let me tell him you're the one here," Jude asked. Tears continued to fall down his face and Jude wiped away one of his tears with his thumb; he really did hate to see Ludger cry. "Alvin will understand your need for secrecy more than most and he won't tell anyone either if you don't want him to." Ludger eventually gave a slow hesitant nod. "It'll be alright you'll see." Jude then place what he thought was a brotherly kiss on the other man's forehead before going back out into the living room.

"Now can you tell me what's going on?" Alvin asked. The older man was sitting on the couch with a scowl on his face.

"Only if you promise to keep it a secret and not to tell anyone and when I say anyone I mean anyone," Jude told him.

"That serious, is it," Alvin said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Jude nodded and he watched as Alvin thought about it for a long moment. "Alright, I promise."

"Ludger's back," Jude said deciding that blunt would best.

"He's what?! Since when?!" Alvin asked his eyes going wide.

"Since last night," Jude sighed as he joined Alvin on the couch. "He showed up during the storm."

"And you didn't tell me this why?" Alvin asked an accusing note in his voice and a little anger as well.

"Because it's complicated!" Jude snapped. "He's not in the best of shape. The man has yet to say a word…"

"He wasn't the biggest talker to begin with," Alvin added with a hint of amusement.

"This is different though. He hasn't spoken at all. Then he has all of those scars and he's lost so much weight and I don't think he's aged," Jude said quietly.

"He's been through something, hasn't he," Alvin said all amusement gone.

"I think so. He's just not ready to see everyone yet," Jude told him. "The only reason he's letting me tell you is because you're here."

"You were always able to speak 'Ludger'," Alvin said with a small smile.

"What do you mean speak 'Ludger'?" Jude asked as he scowled at his friend.

"It was always interesting to watch you two talk. Ludger would hardly say a word, sometimes he would say nothing at all yet you still seemed to know what he was saying. You two would talk for hours that way," Alvin said. Jude shrugged as he had never really thought about it.

"Yeah well…I still don't know who sent him back, how he got back, why he's back or why he came to me instead of one of you," Jude said beginning to feel hopeless when it came to his friend's needs.

"I at least know why he chose to come to you," Alvin said. "And don't even ask why he did chose you. That's a secret between me and Ludger."

"You and Ludger share a secret?" Jude asked for some odd reason not liking it. Alvin nodded.

"We went out for drinks once and we talked about a few things. Things that I am not going to share with you. Not unless you become a complete idiot," Alvin said. There was an emotion in his voice Jude didn't recognize and he wasn't sure if he wanted to either.

"I'm going to see if he wants to come out to visit for a while," Jude said as he got up from the couch. "Just don't overwhelm him. He's extremely fragile."

"Physically or mentally?" Alvin asked.

"Both," Jude answered as he opened the door and walked into his bedroom. He found Ludger sitting on his with his arms wrapped tightly around himself.

"Would you like to come out for a while?" Jude asked him. Ludger seemed hesitant then looked down at his arms. "I can help with that." He dug in his close and pulled out one of his lighter jackets. "If you put this on he won't even notice." Jude then helped Ludger into the jacket. "Are you ready?" Ludger nodded so the two of them headed out into the living room.

"Hey long time no see," Alvin said as he stood by the stove stirring the soup that he was reheating. Ludger gave a little wave in greeting. Jude shared a quick look with Alvin and he could tell that the older man was having a hard time holding himself back. "Did you make this?"

"He made it this afternoon," Jude said. Alvin smiled then took a taste his smile widening.

"I really did miss your cooking," Alvin said wistfully. "Mind if I have some?" Ludger shook his head. "I can dish us out each a bowl."

"I'll have some but I don't think it's such a good idea for Ludger," Jude said with a frown. "He's still not feeling well and I don't want a repeat of earlier." He could see the question in Alvin's eyes but Jude shook his head hoping the man wouldn't ask.

"Sure thing," Alvin said as he filled two bowls. While Alvin was doing that Jude turned his attention to the other man. "I was thinking of you just having vitamin supplements. It's almost like a shake. If that doesn't make you sick you can try more soup tomorrow." Ludger again nodded so Jude got to work making his drink.

Dinner was an interesting affair that night. For the few hours they all sat around the table it was almost if time hadn't passed and things were normal. Sometimes though there would be a lull in their conversation. Usually when Ludger got a faraway look in his eyes or he would rub his arms absentmindedly pulling up the sleeves of the coat making his scars visible for a brief second. Jude could tell from the look on Alvin's face that he had seen him. This was when Alvin would tell one of his funnier stories.

"I don't think I can eat another bite," Alvin said as he leaned back in his chair with a satisfied sigh.

"That's because you almost ate the whole pot yourself," Jude scolded as he cleaned up the table.

"What can I say," Alvin said with a helpless shrug, "it was good." It looked as if Ludger was going to get up to help with the dishes when Alvin gently pushed him back into his chair. "The chief gets out of doing the dishes. Now me on the other hand…"

"You don't have to help Alvin," Jude told him although he did appreciate the help. Alvin though seemed to have ulterior motives as he looked over his shoulder at Ludger who was sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me spending the night, I would feel better for it and I don't mind the floor," Alvin said quietly.

"Of course I don't mind," Jude said with a smile understanding where the older man was coming from, "but you don't have to sleep on the floor. You can take the couch. I was planning on sleeping on the floor in my room in case Ludger needed anything. He managed to drink that shake but I'm still worried."

"You never change. Always the good guy," Alvin said with a chuckle. "Just don't mess it up. This is your second chance." Jude raised his eyebrow at the last comment wondering what this second chance was but decided that it was in his best interest if he didn't ask.

After they had finished the dishes he had got Alvin a pillow and blanket him then ushered Ludger off to his bedroom. Once again Jude found himself tucking the now younger man into bed. Something the he found himself, oddly enough, enjoying.

"Do you mind if I read for a while?" Jude asked him. Ludger shook his head and Jude smiled. "I'll be in the chair if you need anything." Jude then moved the chair slightly closer to the bed in case he needed to get to Ludger quickly. It wasn't too long before the words on the page began to blur together…

_When Jude opened his eyes things felt off. It was almost like he was in a fractured dimension but not really. He was currently standing in the small park that was outside what once had been Ludger's apartment building. The sun was setting and there was a lone little boy swinging on the swings humming a song. Jude smiled. There was no doubt in his mind that child was Ludger. _

"_This is one of my favorite memories," someone said from behind him. Jude turned around to see Julius standing there with a sad smile. Jude was about to ask him what was going on when he heard someone walking towards them so he turned back to the 'memory'. _

_A much younger looking Julius but also a beaten down and worn-out looking Julius slowly came walking towards the park. _

"_Julius! You're home!" the little boy squealed as he went running towards his bother. _

"_Hey there kiddo," the young Julius said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "What did you do today?" _

"_I made you a surprise," little Ludger said with a big smile._

"_A surprised huh," Julius said as he looked down at his younger brother his eyes going wide. "Ludger what happened to your hands?" the man then kneeled down and appeared to examine his brother's hands closely. _

"_They're just a few burns Julius, nothing to worry about," little Ludger mumbled. _

"_A few burns!" Julius repeated. "Ludger your hands are covered in them!" _

"_Please don't be mad at me Julius," little Ludger said looking close to tears. "I just wanted to do something nice for you so I made you dinner. You never eat right and if you don't eat right my teacher says you get sick. I don't want you to get sick." _

"_You did this for me?" Julius asked as he looked at his brother's hands. The little boy nodded vigorously. "Just where did you learn to cook?"_

"_I found this lady on TV. She talks kinda funny but she knows all about food and how to cook it. Today her recipe had tomatoes in it so I thought I would try that. I know how you like tomatoes Julius…" little Ludger continued to ramble about his cooking show as the two brothers made their way into the building. _

"_So that's why he learned to be such a good cook," Jude commented. _

"_Yes. To take care of me," Julius said as he looked sadly at the door their younger selves had walked through. "I made a promise to myself that day that I would take care of him and protect him. A promise that I broke." _

"_Do you know what happened? Why and how he's back?" Jude asked._

"_Yes. That's why I'm here and I only have time to tell you the short version," Julius said as he stared off into the sunset. "After Ludger…made his wish things went a little odd for us. A war broke out in the land of Canaan and we were recruited to fight by Origin and Chronos. _

"_It was a long hard battle and in the end we won but at a heavy cost. Near the end of the war Ludger was captured and it took us a lot longer to save him than I would have liked. He was never the same after that…" _

"_Does that have something to do with why he doesn't talk?" Jude asked._

"_I'm afraid so. He hasn't spoken a word to anyone since we got him out. Not even to me," Julius said with a frown. "We know that they tortured him but how exactly I can't tell you as I don't know and honestly I don't think I want to know." _

"_Those bastards," Jude said as he clenched his fists. Ludger had already been through so much. Jude though shook his head. "Alright at least now I have a vague idea of what he's been through and I'll do everything in my power to help him but how did he end up back with us?"_

"_According to Origin there was a spot open," Julius said with a shrug. _

"_A spot open?" Jude asked not quite understanding. Julius nodded._

"_You see Elle was supposed to be born in this world but she never was. So since she wasn't born there was a spot open for someone to go back. Since me and Ludger were so instrumental in winning the war they said that the spot could go to one of us. Ludger wanted me to take it but I refused. He had so many people that missed him…plus I needed to make a lot of things up to him. I asked too much…"_

"_You mean making him fight and kill you?" Jude asked a little harsher than he intended. Julius winced and nodded. _

"_That among other things. The war here was harsh. If you haven't noticed Ludger looks as if he hasn't aged," Julius explained. Jude nodded; it was hard not to notice. "Time passes oddly here physically he hasn't aged but mentally that's another story."_

"_So it's been ten years for him as well?" Jude asked. _

"_Yes but ten years in Canaan so it's probably going to take him awhile to adjust to…being alive again," Julius said as he looked down at the ground. Jude nodded hoping that would explain why the little bit of food he ate made him so sick. "What I'm about to ask you will be asking a lot I know, but I was hoping that you would be able to keep my promise for me."_

"_You don't need to ask me something like that," Jude said with a small shake of his head. "Of course I'll look after him. We all will." _

"_Thank you," Julius said looking truly relieved. "This is his second chance…"_

This time when Jude opened his eyes he found himself back in his room. He glanced at the bed and saw that Ludger looked to be sleeping peacefully. At least now he had an idea of what his friend had been through even if the idea of it made him sick. Jude pulled his chair closer to the bed and gently ran his fingers through the man's hair.

"I promise that this time we'll take care of you," Jude told him then placed a kiss on his forehead. He wasn't going to let Ludger's second chance at life be anything but happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **Wow! I didn't expect that so many people would like this story. Thank you all so much :) Since there is an interest in it I've decided to continue it. I hope you all will continue to read it. Please leave a review and let me know what you all think of chapter 2.

**Review Thanks:**

**cloudybreaths: **Thank you very much! And now that it is a chaptered story I promise that the war will be talked about.

**nanami:** Thank you! I hope you enjoy how the boy's relationship will develop.

**blackkyu: **Thank you for reading this story as well. As for Jude being 'toppish' I was the same way until after that whole thing with Victor and Jude was the one that ended up taking care of Ludger. But I promise that Jude will have his share of troubles as well!

**Guest 1: **Thank you! I don't take souls but cookies on the other hand ;)

**Guest 2: **Thanks! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story

**Rose: **There's actually a reason I have ten years which will come up later in the story. About this doujinshi. Would you happen to know where I can find it :)

**Fenrir: **Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint.

**gethe: **Thank you very much! You will see a lot of protective Jude in this story.

**Invo: **Thanks! I'm actually surprised there aren't more Jude/Ludger fics (the game really slashes them together). I came on the sight looking for one to read after I beat the game too only to find none. I hope this story doesn't disappoint. ;)

**Nameless Knight: **That's more my fault than Jude's (embarrassed). I didn't have the war really planned out when I wrote it. But now I do and it will be discussed. Promise!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Dark._

_Alone. So alone. _

_Pain. Lots of pain. _

_It hurts. _

_Don't scream. Don't show weakness. Don't give in. _

_Won't scream. Won't talk. Won't tell them. Can't scream. Can't talk. Can't tell them. _

_Don't scream. Don't talk._

_So much pain…so alone…_

_Help! Someone please help me! Help me…_

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Jude was woken from a peaceful sleep when he felt movement on the bed. When he opened his eyes he expected to see Ludger awake and sitting up in bed but that wasn't the case. Ludger was tossing and turning and biting his lip so hard Jude was worried the he was going to bit right through it.

"Ludger," Jude said as he gently touched the man's shoulder hoping to wake him as he could see tears falling from Ludger's closed eyes. Ludger did wake up but he fell off of the bed then crawled to the corner of the bedroom where he wrapped his arms tightly around his legs. Jude cursed to himself in wanting to wake Ludger from his nightmare he forgot that he had to be careful. Jude carefully and slowly made his way over to Ludger who was still huddled in the corner.

"Ludger," Jude said again as he kneeled down in front of the frightened man. He reached out a hand to touch him only to have Ludger flinch. Jude quickly pulled his hand back like he had been shocked; the last thing that he wanted to do was cause Ludger anymore distress.

"Is everything alright in here?" Alvin asked as he walked into the room. "I thought I heard a noise." Ludger at hearing someone else made himself into an even smaller ball and Jude ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I…I don't know," Jude stammered as he continue to look at his friend. He could tell by the way Ludger's shoulders were shaking that he was crying. "He's trapped in some sort of nightmare."

"Nightmare, huh?" Alvin asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I wish we know what happened to him so we could help."

"I know," Jude said as he looked over his shoulder at the older man who had a shocked look on his face.

"You know? How do you…" Jude shook his head.

"Later," Jude told him. He didn't know how Ludger was going to react to his dream with Julius and he didn't want to upset Ludger obviously more than he already was. He then turned his full attention on his distraught friend.

"Ludger," Jude said as he once again reached out to his friend and once again Ludger flinched back. This time though Jude touched him and gently massaged his shoulder as he hummed his song. After a few moments Jude felt the tense muscles beneath his fingertips relax. Then several minutes later Ludger finally looked at them and Jude hissed in sympathy. Ludger had blood dripping down his mouth; he had a feeling that Ludger had bit through his lip just like he had feared.

"Alvin can you please get me a wet washcloth and there's a pink bottle in the kitchen cupboard above the stove, can you get that for me as well?" Jude asked him.

"Sure thing," Alvin replied as he quickly left the room.

"Is it alright if I heal that?" Jude asked as he looked at Ludger. The younger man didn't seem to be caught in a nightmare anymore but Jude could tell by the look in his eyes that he was still frightened. Ludger didn't react so, hoping he was making the right decision, Jude reached out his hand and put it near Ludger's mouth then used an arte to heal it. Better?" Once again Ludger didn't answer.

"Let's get you back in bed," Jude said as he stood up then held out his hand and waited for Ludger to make the first move. After a very long moment he accepted it. Jude pulled him up and led him over to the bed where he made him sit down. He couldn't stop himself from brushing the hair out of Ludger's eyes. They were full of tears and embarrassment.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about," Jude told him. Ludger in response looked down at his lap as the tears slowly started to make their way down his cheeks. Ludger though shook his head then took a couple of deep breaths stopping his tears in the process.

Jude sighed. It looked as if Ludger was trying to be strong again. He wondered how many times the other man had done that in his life. Especially after with everything they had done and he had been made to do. The closest Ludger had ever shown to being upset was after that whole thing with Victor but then his first concern had been Elle. Even after he was forced to kill his brother he hadn't cried at least not in front of any of them. Of course it wasn't long after that Ludger…Jude shook his head. He wouldn't let that happen again.

"You don't have to hide what you're feeling," Jude told him just as Alvin returned.

"I…ah…brought what you asked for," the older man said sounding slightly nervous; Jude noticed how he wouldn't directly look at Ludger.

"Thanks," Jude said as he took the items.

"I'll…just wait for you out here," Alvin said and then quickly left. Jude frowned after him then noticed that Ludger looked hurt by the man's quick departure.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Jude said deciding not to comment on Alvin's retreat. Jude then gently wiped the tears away with the washcloth before cleaning away the blood from his chin. "Much better." Ludger's cheeks were once again tinged pink; worried that his fever had come back Jude put his hand on the younger man's forehead but he didn't feel one. Which was a good thing. Still that didn't mean it couldn't come back and with what Ludger been through lately he wouldn't be surprised if it did.

"Here, I want you to take a sip of this," Jude said as he handed over the pink bottle. "It should help you relax and get some sleep." Ludger looked at it skeptically. "Sorry about it being pink but Elize 'strongly' suggested that I make it strawberry flavored." Ludger still looked hesitant. "Please Ludger. I don't want you to get sick." Ludger sighed a he took a swig from the bottle before handing it over. He gave the door a sad look before he laid down and covered himself completely putting his back to the door.

"Ludger…" Jude said not sure what to say. In response Ludger curled tighter into himself making Jude sigh. It was obvious that Ludger wanted to be alone; at least for the moment. "I'm going to go and talk to Alvin. I'll be back in a little bit to check on you."

He gave the lump on the bed one last look before he left the room. He found Alvin sitting on the couch looking distressed.

"How is he?" Alvin asked.

"He's doing alright but he thinks you're upset with him," Jude said as he once again joined him on the couch.

"I didn't mean to make him think that," Alvin said as he tiredly ran a hand through his hair. "It's just so hard seeing him like that. I'm use to him being strong and stoic, you know."

"I think he's just been through too much," Jude told him with a sigh.

"And what has he been through and how do you know?" Alvin asked as he gave him a long look.

"Well…" Jude then explained to him about his dream with Julius and what the man had told him.

"Damn. Poor guy can't even catch a break when he dies," Alvin said; Jude winced at the comment then quickly reminded himself that Ludger was alive and had a second chance. "And Julius told you that he had been captured and tortured." Jude nodded. "At least that explains why he doesn't want to see anyone. After going through something like that…"

"You'd think that he would at least want to see Elle though," Jude said. Ludger not wanting to see her still confused him especially since they were so close.

"He has to be strong for her though. Actually he has to be strong for all of us. Even me," Alvin said with a sad smile. "When he was having his…nightmare you were there for him and didn't hesitate to help, me on the other hand," he shrugged, "like I already told you I couldn't see him that way. You've always been the one to help him. The rest of us leaned on him."

"I leaned on him too," Jude said with a sigh remembering how Ludger had helped him especially with that whole thing with Celsius.

"You did but you did little things for him, especially after with what happened with Victor," Alvin told him. "It's the little things that matter in the end. He trusts you and he doesn't feel he has to be strong for you. I'm sure that's one of the reasons why he chose to come to you."

"I promised him and Julius both that I would help him," Jude said as he looked down at his lap, "but most of all I want to."

"I never doubted that," Alvin said with a small smile. "You and Ludger are do-gooders."

"You always say that like it's a bad thing," Jude grumbled. He had known Alvin almost twelve years now and the older man had never stopped teasing him about that.

"It's not, except you _do-gooders_ always take on too much. That's why I think you and Ludger need to leave the city for a while. You know, take a vacation," Alvin told him.

"I had a vacation a few years ago," Jude said with a scowl; a scowl which Alvin returned.

"That wasn't a vacation!" Alvin snapped. "That was you recovering from being kidnapped and held hostage."

"It wasn't that bad," Jude said under his breath. In truth he wanted to forget about the whole thing and in comparison to what Ludger had been through…

"Look, I know you won't do it for you, but it would be best for Ludger," Alvin said sounding frustrated. "There's this resort that opened up on that small island. It has private bungalows with their own private section of beach. No one would bother you two…well except maybe for me when I come by for a visit."

"That would be nice but I can't afford something like that," Jude said with a shake of his head. He may not be broke like he once was but he didn't have a lot of money either.

"Don't worry about the cost. I'll take care of everything. I'll even set the whole thing up," Alvin said as he got up from the couch and cracked his back.

"I can't ask you to do that," Jude told him.

"Who's asking? Besides this is for Ludger too. If he's going to have any chance of recovering he's going to need the quiet," Alvin said as he walked towards the door. "I'll even pick some clothes up for him. He's about your size, right?"

"Pretty much," Jude said as he glanced at the bedroom wondering how Ludger was doing.

"I'll make all of the arrangements then. I'm going to get you two out of here by tomorrow so you pack your things and set things up at work. Tell them you are at least taking two weeks off. I'll come back later and let you know the details. Give Ludger his new clothes and see if I can fix what I just did with him."

"Thanks Alvin I really appreciate this," Jude said with a smile.

"Don't mention it," Alvin said as he left.

Jude got up from the couch with a smile and headed back to his bedroom so he could check on his charge. He had to admit that he liked Alvin's idea and was looking forward to it. Jude looked into the bedroom to find Ludger once again sleeping and this time it seemed peaceful.

He put the door against then called the research center and told them that he would be taking a couple of weeks off. They weren't happy about it but there wasn't much they could say. Alvin was right. He hadn't ever taken a vacation and it was long overdue. After that he pulled out his suitcase from the hall closet and sighed; it still had the tags on. It looked as if he really did need a vacation. Since he couldn't pack yet as he didn't want to wake up Ludger he started making a list of things that he needed to do before they left tomorrow and a list of things they would need to bring; two weeks was a long time. He was still doing this when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder making him jump.

"You scared the crap out of me," Jude said as he put a hand on his rapidly beating heart; Ludger on the other hand looked highly amused. His amusement vanished though he looked around. "Don't worry Alvin will be back. He just went to run some errands." Ludger didn't respond as he sat on the couch looking dejected. "He's not upset with you and neither am I."

If Jude was being honest with himself he was curious though. About the war and everything the other man had been through. It was obvious though that Ludger wasn't in the right frame of mind to talk about it. He wasn't even sure if he should even tell him about the dream he had with Julius.

"Don't look like that," Jude said as he slowly put his hand on the younger man's shoulder glad when it wasn't rejected. "It's true, you know. He's actually setting up a vacation for us." Ludger finally looked at him and titled his head to the side quizzically. "He thinks it would be a good idea and I agree with him. It will give you time to readjust." Ludger once again looked down at his lap. "It's for me too. I haven't been on a vacation…ever really. I have a suitcase that I bought like five years ago and it still has the tags on it." Ludger though still seemed hesitant. "Come on it'll be fun." Finally Ludger gave a small nod even though he still looked uncertain. "There you go."

"Now are you hungry? Would you like another one of those shakes?" Jude asked. "I think that if the shake doesn't make you sick that you could try some broth for dinner." Ludger shook his head and Jude sighed. He was really beginning to wonder what it was like living in Canaan. Julius said that Ludger had to readjust to being alive. He was curious if Ludger ate anything living there. He figured that Ludger must have survived on something. He was taken out of his musings when a hand waved in front of his face.

"Huh? What?" Jude asked. Ludger in return shook his head and sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to space out on you. Like I said I could really use this vacation too. So do you want to help me pack? Alvin's going to try to arrange it so we can leave tomorrow." Ludger nodded so the two of them headed into the bedroom.

As they packed Jude ended up, unintentionally, talking about his work almost nonstop. He really didn't have much of a life outside of work and since Ludger seemed to be struggling today he thought it best that he not mention anyone else. So work. Ludger, though, didn't seem to mind. In fact he actually seemed to enjoy it. They had just finished packing when Alvin returned his arms full of bags.

"What is all of that?" Jude asked.

"Clothes! Ludger needs to look stylish," Alvin said with a smile and a wink. Ludger just stared at all of the bags looking slightly overwhelmed. "It's fine. I can afford it now." Jude watched with a smile as Alvin pulled out a jacket and made Ludger try it on. He was glad that Alvin wasn't commenting on what happened earlier this morning. He had a feeling it was better for both of them this way; at least for now.

"I even got this," Alvin said as he pulled out a suitcase, "for you to put it all in."

"So you got everything set up?" Jude asked as him and Alvin stepped to the side.

"Yup," Alvin said looking extremely proud of himself. "I even called in a few favors and got you a deluxe bungalow with a full kitchen that will be fully stocked."

"I don't know how to thank you for all of this," Jude said as he watched as Luger began to go through the clothes.

"You don't have to," Alvin told him. "Just use this time to help him so we can celebrate his return with everyone else."

"I will don't worry," Jude said as he once again looked at Ludger who was now neatly folding his clothes and putting them in his suitcase. He would make sure that Ludger never had to go through something that he would have to risk his life for again.

_If only life were that simple…_


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Wow! I am truly blown away by how you all are enjoying this story. Thank you so much! I will try to post a chapter a week for it. So Chapter 4 should be up next weekend. Please leave a review. I really do enjoy reading them :)

**Review Thanks: **

**OldManNevar: **Thank you! I'm glad that you are enjoying this story even though it's not your pairing. And the other characters will be making their appearances soon ;)

**ben4kevin: **Thanks! I hope you like the chapter.

**Otoya Ichinose: **Thank you :) Eventually you will get Ludger's POV fully but not yet. You will get the little excerpts for now but they always won't be at the beginning.

**Nameless Knight: **It is. There was a song that I use to sing as a kid that used that word. As for Jude's kidnapping it will come into play ;)

**blackkyu: **Thanks! Yes Jude's kidnapping will come back. I'm just not sure how. I have several ways it could go (evil laughter).

**Mijuumaru: **Your English is fine ;) Yes poor Ludger needs a hug. Jude will take care of that...eventually.

**gethe: **Yes Jude will get very protective in this story and Luger will have his protective moments as well :)

**cloudybreaths: **Thank you! And the war will be talked about and will come back into play as well ;)

**Black Chains of Abyss: **No worries the war will be talked about and will also come back into paly ;). And poor Ludger, they really did use him. Jude will try and make it up to him though!

**Fenrir: **Thank you!

**The Amateur Fanfic Writer: **Thanks!

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Jude yawned as the three of them walked down the street. They already had a long morning. They had to take a train to get to Marksburg so they could take a ferry to get to the island. Even though it was still early the town was already full of people which seemed to make Ludger nervous as the younger man seemed to be walking very close to them.

"Alvin this isn't the way to the ferry," Jude commented when they stepped down a side street he hadn't been down before.

"That's because you aren't taking the ferry," Alvin said with a smirk. "I got you tickets on one of those underwater trains. I thought Ludger might enjoy it." Ludger tilted his head to the side curiously.

"They built an underwater train from Marksburg to Rieze Maxia a few years ago. The train travels in a clear glass like tunnel. It's pretty neat, actually," Jude explained to Ludger. "But I thought that it was the only one."

"It basically is. This one is exclusive for the resort," Alvin told them. "And because you two are staying in one of the deluxe bungalows you get a private car."

"Just how fancy is this place we're going?" Jude asked as he followed Alvin into an impressive looking train station. Alvin just a smirked in reply.

"This way," Alvin said as he led them away from the throng of people towards the back of the station where a man in a suit was standing. Alvin gave him something that looked like an electronic keycard. The man scanned it then gave them a big smile.

"If you gentlemen would just follow me," the man said. He led them to the last car in the train. "Now everything is included and if you require anything else just pick up the phone and dial one."

"Thank you," Alvin told the man. The man nodded his head and left.

"Alvin this place is nicer than my home," Jude said as he looked around in awe. There were built-in plush couches on both walls with huge windows that went all of the way up and met in the middle creating the ceiling. Two recliners were situated around and small table in the middle of the room. There was also a mini-fridge and a door in the back that Jude assumed led to the bathroom.

"And this is where I leave you," Alvin said as he set the suitcase down that he had been carrying. "I'll visit you in a few days." He ruffled Ludger's hair, gave them a wink, then left.

"Well this should be a fun vacation," Jude said as he sat down on the couch and watched as the people in the station bustled around; Ludger joined him and did the same. Not too long later the train gave a lurch and they were off, heading into a dark tunnel which eventually turned into the tunnel under the water.

For the first time since he had been back Ludger looked truly excited and happy about something. Actually when Jude really thought he had never seen Ludger truly happy. It was basically moments after he meet the other man that their lives were turned upside down. Jude was taking out of his musings when he felt Ludger tug on his sleeve and point out the window.

"They seem to be enjoying themselves," Jude said as he smiled at the dolphins swimming alongside them. "Have you ever seen dolphins before?" Ludger shook his head. "I did once. When I rode the other underwater train but that's more of a tourist trap. Lots of parents with little kids. Nothing as nice as this." Ludger gave a small nod of agreement then went back to watching the scenery.

Jude, for a reason he couldn't explain, found more enjoyment watching Ludger watch out the window than the actual scenery itself. It was hard to believe that Ludger was so young when he was forced to go through that. They all were. And they all deserved to find happiness after everything they had been through and most of them had found it. Ludger though was forced into another war and if he was truly going to be happy Jude needed to discuss with him what he had been through so he could help him get over it. He had planned on doing it on the ferry as it would have been a long ride but now seeing Ludger so truly happy; he couldn't and wouldn't take that away from him. They had two weeks of vacation ahead of them; there was still plenty of time to discuss what they needed to discuss.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Three days later and Jude still hadn't got up the courage to talk to him. Ludger just seemed to be enjoying himself so much that Jude didn't want to ruin it. Still he knew that he needed to do it. At the moment Ludger was sitting on the beach watching the tide come in. Wanting to get this over with Jude went and joined him. Ludger gave him and half a smile but it disappeared his expression clearly ask _What's wrong?_

"There's something I need to talk to you about," Jude said. Ludger looked nervous but nodded giving him permission to continue. "I had a dream the other night. Julius was in it," Jude noticed how Ludger flinched at his brother's name and wondered what that was about, "he told me a little bit about what you've been through. He told me that there was a war and that you two fought in it." Ludger nodded. "He also told me that you were captured and that they…" here Ludger looked away and began to nervously rub his arm where there was an extremely deep scar.

"Please don't turn away," Jude said not liking how Ludger was shutting him out. "I just want to help you." Ludger didn't react so Jude hoped that was permission for him to continue. "Is it because of that, that you can't talk?" Even though Jude could visibly see that the younger man was shaking he gave a small nod. "Did they make it so you can't, because if they did maybe I ca…" Jude started to ask then stopped when he saw Ludger shake his head then point to himself.

"You did?" Jude asked confused. "Why?" Ludger nervously began to chew his bottom lip then tapped the side of his head. "I don't understand." Ludger looked frustrated then he began to write something in the sand with a shaky fingertip.

_Won't scream. Can't scream. _

_Won't talk. Can't talk. _

_Won't tell them. Can't tell them._

"You made it so you can't talk so they couldn't get information from you," Jude said feeling sick. Just how much did one person have to go through? "You did it to protect everyone." Ludger shrugged then scribbled out what he wrote before getting up and walking away down the beach. Jude only hesitated a moment before going after him.

"Ludger wait!" Jude said as he hurried after him. He was about to reach out and grab his arm but then thought better of it; he didn't want to startle the younger man. "Please wait." Ludger finally stopped walking but he wouldn't look at him.

"Ludger, I already told you that you don't have to hide from me," Jude told him. The younger man still wouldn't look at him. Jude slowly reached out his hand and turned Ludger around; he then placed his finger under his chin and lifted his head up so they were looking each other in the eyes. It broke Jude's heart to see the defeated look in his eyes. "It doesn't matter what those bastards did to you. You're still you and what you did, it to protect everyone…there's no reason to be ashamed of that." Ludger shrugged in response as he once again rubbed his arm; Jude came to recognize this as the sign that he was extremely nervous.

"Have you tried talking since…" Jude started to ask but Ludger shook his not even letting him finish. "Do you want to try?" Ludger shrugged and Jude held in a wince; he wanted the younger man to want to talk. "Alright then for now I'll take that as a no but when you want to let me know and I'll help. Okay?" Jude waited with baited breath and eventually Ludger gave a small nod.

"Now what do you say about a movie and some popcorn. I don't think that it will make you sick and it looks like a storm is rolling in," Jude said as he looked up at the dark clouds. Ludger gave another nod. "Come on then." Jude wrapped his arms around his shoulders and led him back to the house.

The rest of the night Ludger was standoffish and quiet; even more quiet than he usually was. Ludger would barely acknowledge anything he would say. They ended up watching only one movie before Ludger went to his bedroom ad shut the door behind him. Jude wasn't sure if he should follow him or not. The younger man only had one bowl of popcorn and nothing for dinner. As Ludger was still very much underweight this worried Jude. Ludger could finally eat most foods without getting sick but he still needed the nutrition. Jude sighed as he ran a hand through. At least Ludger opened up to him a little bit about what he had been through so he decided that he would leave the younger man alone of the night. He would just make sure that he ate a descent breakfast in the morning.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_It was dark and he was alone again. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to be in the dark. When it was dark that was when the pain would start. _

"…Ludger…wake up…"

_Someone was there with him! Someone touching him! He instinctively pulled back not wanting to get hurt, but whoever they were holding him in place. He couldn't move! Wanting to get away he began to struggle more. _

"Ludger please stop struggling!" someone said sounding desperate.

_Ludger recognized the voice or he thought he did but he couldn't place it. He had been tricked by them before. Them pretending to be someone they weren't. He wouldn't fall for it again! So he continued to struggle._

"Please Ludger. It's me. It's Jude. It's alright you're safe now," the person said.

_Jude? That didn't make sense. His Jude, the one from his dimension, was still alive. He was suppose to be living his life. He was suppose to be happy not here. Not angry like so many of the others. He didn't want his Jude angry because his life was cut short. _

_Ludger felt someone gently run their fingers through his hair and hum the song. He then felt the softness of the mattress and the warmth of the blanket. The last several days then slowly came back to him. He was back. Given a second chance and staying with Jude…_

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Jude let out a sigh of relief when Ludger stopped struggling and finally opened his eyes. He had been trapped in the nightmare for well over ten minutes and Jude was unable to help him. It was heartbreaking to watch Ludger fight against invisible enemies without making a sound.

He watched as Ludger reached out to the nightstand next to the bed to turn the light on only to have nothing happen and let out a small whimper.

"Sorry but the storm knocked out the power," Jude told him; he would have to remember that being in the dark was one of Ludger's triggers. "I'll go and see if I can find some candles or something."

Jude got up to leave but stopped when he reached the door. Something was telling him to turn around. He looked back over his shoulder and saw Ludger huddled in the bed looking truly frightened and lost. It was obvious that Ludger was upset by his nightmare and did want to be alone.

"I have any idea," Jude said as he walked back to the bed. Ludger looked at him curiously. "Why don't we get a fire going in the fireplace and play games until the power comes back on."

"I'm freezing and I won't be able to sleep with the storm raging the way it is," Jude told him as he held out his hand. Once again Ludger hesitated to take it and even though it was dark Jude could see a flood of emotions in Ludger's eyes. Finally Ludger took the outstretched hand and let Jude pull him from the room.

"Spring has been unseasonable cold this year," Jude said as he made Ludger sit on the couch then went over to the fireplace. "I wish we could go for a swim but it's just too cold." He really had come to enjoy swimming over the years. He looked over his shoulder to gauge Ludger's reaction and saw the younger man nervously rubbing his arm. Jude cursed to himself for his careless statement. If Ludger's arms were covered in scars the rest of him probably was as well. Jude felt his anger at what Ludger had been through bubble to the surface but pushed it down. This time he needed to be the strong one.

"There we go," Jude said after he got a blaze going. The warmth and the light of the fire was already beginning to relax him and he hoped it was the same for Ludger.

"Now what game would you like to play?" Jude asked as he kneeled in front of the game cupboard. "How about this one? It says the point of the game is where you have to figure out who the murder is." Ludger nodded and Jude gave him a smile. A smile that Ludger retuned; a real smile and Jude felt better for it.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

"Elle hurry up or you'll miss the boat!" Elize shouted from the doorway of their hotel room.

"I'm coming!" Elle shouted back as she hurried around the room collecting her things. She was just about to leave when she remembered Ludger's watch. She had almost forgotten it. She usually carried it with her but it had been raining the last several days so she decided it was best to leave it in the room. She quickly grabbed it from the drawer in the nightstand when she noticed something different about it. It almost sounded as if...curious she put it to her ear.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

The watch was working again. It hadn't worked since that day. This could only mean one thing. Ludger was back! Elle hurried from the room to tell Elize. Their goodwill tour didn't matter anymore. She needed to find Ludger.


	4. Chapter 4

**Review Thanks:**

**ben4kevin: **Yeah and poor Jude has a long way to go but if anyone can do it :)

**blackkyu: **That still might hap…cough cough…sorry cold ;)

**Fenrir: **Thanks! Yes Julius will be making several appearances in this story. Have no worries :)

**Otoya Ichinose: **I'm glad you like the train scene so much and were able to see it both way which was what I was going for. As for Elle…you'll find out soon ;)

**OldManNevar: **Thank you! Yes it is very fun for me to write and it makes me even happier when people enjoy it.

**cloudybreaths: **Thanks! The underwater train is actually based those tunnels they have at aquariums. Yes Jude is 26 and Ludger because of his time in Canaan is 20. Sorry if this confused you.

**Mijuumaru: **Thank you! No worries you will be seeing Elle soon ;)

**Black Chains of Abyss: **Thanks! I wish they really had trains like that. Jude is all set to help Ludger. As for Elle you'll see here soon ;)

**Parodychick: **Thank you very much. As for the age thing I honestly didn't know that until I started working on this and it's also my bad for not explaining things properly. Ludger, because of his time in Canaan didn't age in the last ten years so he's still 20. Thanks for pointing that out to me though.

**AN: **Thank you all again for all of your wonderful reviews! But I seemed not to have not explained myself very well concerning Ludger's age so I will have a side note for that. As for updates I think I will try to update every Tuesday. That way I won't have to update two stories at once. See you all next Tuesday and please leave a review!

**Concerning Ages:** Because I didn't explain this properly in the story and it's confusing people I will explain things better. It's been ten years since the end of Elle's ending in the game. Shortly after he sacrificed himself Ludger along with Julius (and a few others) were recruited to fight in the war. Time passes differently in Canaan so even though he fought there for ten years Ludger didn't age while everyone else did. Making Ludger 20, Jude 26, Alvin 37, Elize 23, Elle 18, Leia 26, and Rowen 73. Milla and Muzet (because they are not human will not have aged either). I am making Marcia 9 years younger than Rowen (my grandparents were nine year apart) so she's 64. And for the sake of his story Julius is 12 years older than Ludger (I know that's wrong but because of what I have planned it needs to be that way). I hope this clears things up a little bit. If anyone else is confused about anything please let me know.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_**10 years earlier….**_

Alvin was slightly surprised to find Ludger having a drink at a bar but then again maybe he shouldn't be. Not after what they asked him to do, Alvin shook his head, no not after what he was forced to do. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Ludger was going through after he had to kill his own brother.

"There you are," Alvin said as he put on a fake smile.

"It's not like I'd go too far," Ludger said with a shrug.

"I know but everyone's looking for you," Alvin said as he joined him. Ludger snorted.

"Everyone? I highly doubt that," Ludger said.

"Alright most of us don't know what to say after…"

"The topic of Julius isn't open for discussion," Ludger said is voiced clipped as he took a sip of his drink.

"Sure," Alvin agreed quickly not wanting to press the topic, "but Jude is looking for you. He's worried."

"That's because Jude is a good guy," Ludger said with a sad smile. "Like I told you though it's not like I'd go far. We have to save Elle. Not only is she not a fake but she's the only Elle that this dimension will have."

"You mean because two Elle's can't be in the prime dimension at the same time," Alvin said. He never really thought about it that way. Ludger would never be able to be together with Elle's mother and have a child with her because then the Elle they knew would disappear.

"No, because I would never get together with Elle's mother in the first place. I highly doubt that she's my type," Ludger said.

"Oh come on," Alvin said with a wave of his hand. "You've never seen the woman. How do you know she…" Ludger gave him a look here calling him an idiot. "Oh, I see. It's the _she_ part, isn't it?" Ludger nodded.

"I suppose I could meet her and we could mutually agree to have a child together without the romance and being in a relationship but that child still wouldn't be _our _Elle," Ludger said with a shrug. "Besides Victor really seemed to love his wife. It wouldn't be fair to the woman or her future child if I didn't love them for them."

"I see," Alvin said with a small frown. Once again he never really thought about how saving or not saving Elle would affect Ludger's future life. "So is there someone you like?" Ludger winced and took another sip of his drink; Alvin took that as a yes.

"I might but he's in love with someone else," Ludger said with a sigh.

"Hmmm," Alvin said as he tapped his lip wondering who it might be. He had known Ludger for a few months now and he had been with the man most of the time. It's not like they had much time to enjoy themselves. They were so busy destroying fractured dimensions and when he wasn't doing that Alvin was working on his business. He knew Ludger was even busier what with helping them and taking care of his debt. Maybe he should ask Jude as he spent the most time with Ludger. Alvin then called himself stupid. It was so obvious.

"You like Jude, don't you?" Alvin asked.

"Doesn't matter if I do or not. He's in love with Milla," Ludger said sounding resigned.

"Yes but him and Milla can't be together. You should tell him how you feel," Alvin pointed out but Ludger shook his head.

"Alright let's say I tell him and he returns my feelings then what? We are about to go to The Land of Canaan. Who knows what's going to happen. If we got together and something were to happen to me…" Ludger shook his head, "it would just hurt him more if something did happen."

"Nothing's going to happen," Alvin told with a wink and a pat on the back trying to sound confident. "Alright if you won't tell him now how about when we get back." Ludger looked hesitant and Alvin smirked. "If you won't tell him then I will."

"Fine," Ludger grumbled. "When we get back from Canaan I'll tell him how I feel."

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**Present day…**_

Alvin whistled a happy tune as he knocked on the door of the place that Jude and Ludger were staying. Even though there was a bad storm the night before he expected to find the two of them well rested. That wasn't what he got though. When Jude opened the door the younger man looked, well he looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, his clothes were rumpled, and his hair was disheveled.

"Hey Alvin," Jude said as he stepped aside to let him in.

"Hey," Alvin replied as he walked into the room with a frown. "Did the storm keep you up all night?"

"Something like that," Jude said with a sigh as he sat down at the table and rested his head in his hands looking exhausted. Seeing the state of his young friend Alvin decided that a pot of coffee was definitely needed so he set about making one.

"So where's Ludger?" Alvin asked as he looked around the room. He saw several board games lying near the coffee table and the remnants of a fire but no signs of the younger man.

"In his room. He finally feel asleep around sunup," Jude explained. "He didn't have a very good night."

"Oh," Alvin responded not wanting to push Jude. He knew that his friend would tell him what he was thinking when he was ready. Jude nodded.

"I think it was mostly my fault," Jude said as he ran his hands through his hair. "I got him to open up a little bit about what he's been through. They tortured him for information Alvin."

"I was afraid of that," Alvin said with a wince. He had worked for some unscrupulous people in his life and he knew that it wasn't an uncommon practice. He was sorry that someone he cared about had to go through something like that.

"_Won't scream. Can't scream. Won't talk. Can't talk. Won't tell them. Can't tell them," _Jude mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Alvin confused.

"When I asked Ludger if it was them who made it so he couldn't talk, he shook his head and wrote that down. He made it so he couldn't talk because he didn't want to betray Julius and the people he was fighting for," Jude said looking close to tears. "He sacrificed himself for everyone else. Again."

"That…" Alvin started to say as the coffee finished so he poured them each a cup glad for the reprieve. What could he say to that? He didn't think he would be strong enough to seal his voice away if he was being tortured. "Well he's back with us now and we'll take care of him." He then set the mug in front of his friend with a wink. Jude glared at the mug like it somehow offended him.

"We did so well the last time," Jude grumbled. Alvin winced at that statement. Again unsure of what to say as he knew that Jude was right.

"When is the last time you got any sleep?" Alvin asked thinking that a change of topic was in order.

"What?" Jude asked looking confused.

"You said that Ludger feel asleep around sunup but what about you?" Alvin pressed.

"I…I haven't gone to bed yet," Jude admitted. "I was about to when I walked by Ludger's room last night and saw him having that nightmare, then the storm hit and I was able to figure out that being in the dark is one of his triggers and he didn't want to be alone so…" Jude shrugged.

"And you're awake now because…" Alvin said.

"Because I couldn't sleep and what if he needs something?" Jude asked.

"What he needs is for you to stay healthy. Go on to bed. I'll keep an eye on things for you" Alvin told him. Jude seemed to debate the idea for a few minutes before giving a small nod.

"Alright but wake me if he has a nightmare," Jude finally relented.

"Sure thing," Alvin was quick to agree as he remembered the nightmare that Ludger had that one time; he knew he wouldn't be able to help Ludger through something like that. Jude gave him a smile then went to his bedroom and quietly closed the door behind him.

Once Jude was behind a closed door Alvin let his true frustration show. Why did something good have to be tainted? Why couldn't they just catch a break? Needing to do something Alvin decided to pick up the games that were strewn all over the floor; at least it kept his mind from wandering. He just finished when he heard a door open. He was ready to tell Jude to go back to bed as it had only been about an hour but he looked up to see Ludger standing there looking slightly confused.

"Hey," Alvin greeted as he quickly did the math in his head. Jude said that Ludger had gone to bed at sunup and going by the time it was now meant that he had five hours of sleep. Not a lot but people could survive on less. Ludger gave him a nod in return as he sat at the kitchen table and looked at him curiously.

"Jude's still sleeping and I just popped by for a visit," Alvin explained as he walked into the kitchen. "Coffee?" Ludger nodded so he poured them each a cup. As he reached for the mug Ludger's sleeve pulled and Alvin caught a glimpse of the scars and quickly looked away reminded of the story Jude told him.

"So ah…" Alvin said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck unsure of what to say now. Ludger in response glared at him. "What?" Alvin was sure that Jude would have known what Ludger was thinking as he always seemed to know. Ludger sighed as he grabbed a scrap piece of paper and a pen then wrote something down.

_Jude told you?_

"Yeah," Alvin answered. Ludger gave him a pained look before he looked away. "There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about." Ludger though wouldn't look at him. Instead he grabbed the piece of paper and wrote something else down.

_I don't want to talk about it_

"I understand that more than most," Alvin said with a sigh as they were many things in that past that he had done that he didn't like talking about and the things he did weren't heroic or selfless. "So a movie or poker?" Ludger looked at him curiously. "I'm not a fan of board games so…" Ludger wrote something down.

_Poker_

"Poker it is then," Alvin said with a smile as he got out a deck of cards and dealt out a hand.

Two hours later Alvin was glaring at the table. Since it was a friendly game they bet with cookies. Ludger had a huge pile and he was down to five. Ludger was even better at poker than he remembered.

"That's it I'm out," Alvin said as he tossed down his cards. Ludger smirked as he took the cookies from the middle of the table and added them to his own pile.

"Out of what?" Jude asked as he came out of his bedroom.

"Cookies! He completely cleaned me out!" Alvin huffed overly dramatic as Ludger seemed to find it funny.

"You two are playing poker using cookies?" Jude asked incredulously. Ludger nodded then handed over one of the cookies to Jude. Jude nibbled on it before giving Ludger a hard look.

"Have you eaten anything, besides cookies I mean?" Jude asked as he brushed Ludger's hair out of his eyes which made the younger man blush.

Alvin couldn't help but remember that conversation all those years ago he had with Ludger. The one they had in the bar. That was the last real conversation Alvin had with him. Where Ludger admitted that he liked Jude and said that he would tell him when they got back. Which of course never happened and after that he was glad that Ludger had not told his young friend before they left. If Jude had known how Ludger had felt it just would have upset him all the more. He wondered now though if Ludger still felt the same way and if the two of them had a chance.

"Alvin!" Jude shouted.

"What?" Alvin asked coming back to himself.

"Your phone's going off," Jude told him.

"Oh," Alvin said as he looked at the ID and held in a wince knowing that he was going to have to take the call but not sure what he was going to tell them. "I got to take this. Why don't you guys order takeout or something, my treat."

"Alvin you don't have to pay for everything," Jude said.

"I have the money now and besides I either spend it on you two or the girls. I'll be right back," Alvin quickly excused himself and walked out onto the patio. He took a deep breath then answered his phone.

"Alvin!" Elle screeched making the man pull the device away from his ear.

"Hey kiddo," Alvin said trying to keep his voice calm and even. "What's up?"

"Ludger's back!" Elize shouted just as loudly.

"And what makes you two think that?" Alvin asked wondering how they figured it out.

"Because his watch started working again," Elle said. "Alvin we need to find him…"

"Elle, I don't know if that's such a good idea," Alvin said cutting her off. The last thing he needed was for the two of them to good searching for Ludger.

"How can it not be a good idea?!" Elize snapped. "He could be lost or hurt…he needs us Alvin and Elle needs to see him."

"Listen…" Alvin said hoping to calm them down. He glanced through the window at the two boys. Ludger was relaxed with Jude in a way he wasn't with him and Jude had developed an extreme protective streak where Ludger was concerned. It was obvious that neither of them were ready to deal with the others yet but he couldn't lie to the girls either. "How many people have you told about Ludger's watch?"

"Just you," Elle answered an accusing note in her voice. "Why? What aren't you telling us?"

"I know that Ludger's back and I know where he is," Alvin told them.

"What!" the girls shouted in unison making Alvin once again pull his phone away from his ear.

"And you didn't tell Elle this why?" Elize asked sounding as angry as Alvin had ever heard her. She had taken her role as Elle's big sister very seriously.

"I have my reasons," Alvin said going on the defensive. He truly didn't like lying to everyone but this lie was protecting people.

"Something happened to Ludger, didn't it?" Elle asked sounding upset. "Something bad?"

"He's just been through some stuff and isn't ready to see everyone yet," Alvin told her.

"Can you at least tell us where he is?" Elize asked. "Elle is worried."

"Elle you don't have to worry, alright. Jude is looking after him," Alvin said.

"Jude, huh," Elle said. "I guess I'll just have to trust him and you to take care of Ludger then. It's just…"

"I know you want to see him but he just needs time. Just be patient okay and don't tell anyone else that he's back," Alvin told her hoping that she would agree. Not only was Ludger not ready to see everyone but he highly doubted that they were ready to see Ludger with the state he was in. Not only was Ludger unable to talk and covered in scars but he hadn't aged. That put him only two years older than Elle and younger than Elize by three years.

"Alright," Elle agreed although Alvin could hear the reluctance in her voice. "Just keep me update on how he's doing please."

"I will," Alvin told her with a small sigh of relief glad she wasn't forcing the issue. "Don't worry Elle you'll see him soon."

"I know," Elle said then ended the call.

Alvin put his phone back in his pocket with a sigh. Like they needed anymore drama. He looked back through the window and saw that they were 'discussing' the take out menus. They both looked calm and relaxed. He shook his head. Another secret he had to keep. He highly doubted that either of them were ready to hear that Elle and Elize knew that Ludger was back. He took a deep breath, put on a fake smile, and walked back into the room.

"So what have you decided on?" Alvin asked looking forward to the day things were back to normal. He had no idea how far away that day truly was…


	5. Chapter 5

**Review Thanks:**

**blackkyu: **Thank you! As for the lack of sleep you'll have to wait to see how it affects them ;)

**ben4kevin:** good thing I updated the last chapter early :) Sorry this one wasn't

**Parodychick: **No problem ;) If you are confused about anything else please let me know. Yes Rowen is still alive although his fighting days are done. As for how the world is now and Ludger's reaction to everything you'll just have to wait and see.

**Mijuumaru: **Thanks! There'll be several flashback especially for the first part of the story to fill in the gaps.

**Orpheus Thanatos Messiah: **Might be but those are the ages I go when I looked them up. So who knows.

**Otoya Ichinose: **All of those questions will be answered in time ;) As for Jude, let's just say he's oblivious as to how affectionate his actions are.

**ryoko126: **Thank you :)

**KnightAngel015: **Thank you very much!

**jenny77: **Thanks :)

**Rose: **Thanks. I guess I'll just have to look ;)

**Riddle Wraith: **Thank you! More is coming :)

**Fenrir: **Thanks! I hope I don't disappoint ;)

**Black Chains of Abyss: **Alvin will be playing a big-brother type roll to both of them. Glad you like it.

**AN: **Thank you once again for all of the support of this story. It makes me so happy that so many people are enjoying it!Well here's the next chapter. It was actually hard for me to write not to mention I have a cold. Next chapter will be up on Monday or Tuesday. Please leave a review!

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

_**10 years ago…**_

Ludger stirred the pot over the stove and made sure that the coast was clear before he added the diced up tomatoes to the recipe; what Elle didn't know wouldn't hurt her. He put on the lid and turned down the fire so it could simmer and sighed. Today had not been a good day. It was bad enough when Aaron said he didn't want to see him anymore but then to hear that he hated him. That really hurt. What made it even worse was that they dated for a while. He wondered how many of his old schoolmates hated him as well. Thinking of his old school friends Ludger wondered why Nova had called and yelled at him about his lone as much as she did. He went to grab his GHS so he could check his messages only to find it not there.

"Elle have you seen my GHS?" Ludger called out. The little girl came out of Julius' room looking slightly guilty. Ludger decided that since Elle had no place to stay and with Julius popping in and out being cryptic that she might as well use his room.

"I just needed to make few calls," Elle said as she crossed her arms over her chest trying to look defiant.

"Well next time ask first," he told her as he held his hand out for the device.

"If I had my own I wouldn't need to use yours," Elle said as she handed it over.

"You're too young," Ludger said as he slipped it back in its case.

"Elize has one," Elle argued.

"Elize is thirteen while you are eight," Ludger thought that he would point out as he rubbed his forehead. He really wasn't up for this argument today. Not after what happened with Aaron. "Now can you set the table please."

"Fine," Elle grumbled in a way only eight year olds could but at least she did what he asked. What was odd though was that she was setting three spots.

"Elle why are you…" Ludger started to ask but was cut off when there was a knock at the door. He gave Elle one last look but the little girl was just sitting at the table swinging her legs back and forth. He shook his head as he answered his door to find Jude standing there.

"Jude? Did you need something?" Ludger asked wondering what the younger man was doing there.

"No, I…ah…." Jude mumbled looking slightly nervous. He also happened to be looking over his shoulder right where Elle was sitting. Ludger looked over at the girl to find her looking anywhere but at them. "I was just in the area so I thought that I would drop by and say hi."

"We were just about to eat dinner. Would you like to join us" Ludger offered.

"I'd like that," Jude said as he walked into the apartment. Ludger followed him feeling like he was missing something.

"Go ahead and sit at the table," Ludger told him.

"Something smells really good. So what are we having?" Jude asked.

"Chili," Ludger answered as he dished them out each a large bowl.

"And its tomato free," Elle said with a smile. Ludger shared an amused look with Jude. The younger man was quick to turn his chuckle into a cough.

"Here we go," Ludger said as he set a bowl in front of Elle and Jude then went back for his own so he could join them. "So anything interesting happen today at work?"

"Well there was a small explosion at work," Jude said with shrug.

"Was anyone hurt?" Ludger asked.

"Just Balan's eyebrows," Jude smirked. "Completely gone."

"I wanna see that!" Elle shrieked.

"Not tonight you're not," Ludger told her even though he wanted to as well. She stuck her tongue out in retaliation. "Enough now eat your dinner." Ludger ran a hand through his hair wondering when he began to sound like Julius.

"So anything interesting happen to you today?" Jude asked; Ludger thought he heard a note of hesitancy in the younger man's voice.

"No, not really," Ludger said with a shrug. He really did not want to think about Aaron at the moment. Besides he didn't find that interesting as it was more depressing, at least to him.

"Nuh-huh," Elle said with a frown. "You had a fight with that Aaron guy again."

"What did you and your friend fight about?" Jude asked looking nearly as upset as Elle.

"It doesn't matt…"

"Aaron said he hated Ludger and couldn't be his friend anymore," Elle said cutting him off. Ludger gave her a look that clearly told her to stop talking but the damage had been done going by the look Jude was giving him.

"It's over and done with" Ludger said hoping that they would drop it.

"But you've been all sad since it happened," Elle said as she looked at her bowl with a frown. "That's why I called everyone to cheer you up but Jude was the only one that wasn't busy." Ludger pushed his bowl away with a wince no longer feeling hungry. He didn't know what he was more upset about everyone being too busy to come or that Elle called them in the first place.

"How about you finish dinner in your room while watching a movie," Ludger suggested as he really wasn't up to entertaining an eight year old at the moment.

"Really!" Elle squealed a smile returning to her face.

"Really," he told her. "Go get your pajamas on and pick out a movie."

"Okay," Elle said as he practically flew out of her chair and into the bathroom. Ludger chuckled as he grabbed her bowl and the TV tray from behind the fridge.

"Do you need any help?" Jude offered.

"No thanks," Ludger told the younger man. "I'm getting use to it." He had just set up the TV tray while balancing the bowl when Elle returned, in record time, with a move clutched tightly in her hand.

"I'm got my movie," Elle said as she handed it over.

"This one? Again?" Ludger asked with a roll of his eyes. "Didn't you just watch this yesterday?"

"It's a good movie," Elle argued.

"Alright, alright," Ludger said as he stuck his hands up in mock surrender. He stuck it in the player. "Make sure not to spill that chili." He was about to leave when Elle called out to him so he stopped.

"Hey Ludger, are you mad at me for calling everyone?" the girl asked quietly.

"No, now be good and watch your movie," Ludger told her although he really wished she hadn't. He gave her a smile as he walked back into the living room.

"You're really good with her," Jude commented.

"Thanks," Ludger said with a small blush. "I never pictured myself as the fatherly type. I actually wonder how Julius did it."

"That's right Julius was the one that raised you," Jude said. Ludger nodded.

"Yeah, since I was five anyway," Ludger said as he once again sat down at the table with Jude.

"Five? So does that mean you remember your parents?" Jude asked.

"No," Ludger said with a humorless chuckle. "I actually can't remember anything before I was five. I was in an accident or something."

"I'm sorry," Jude said giving him that same look everyone gave him when they found out.

"Don't worry about it," Ludger said with a wave of his hand.

"No. Elle called me to cheer you up," Jude said with a smile.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Ludger told him. "She shouldn't have bothered you."

"It's alright besides that's what friends do," Jude said. "So were you and this Aaron close?"

"While we were in school," Ludger snorted. He wondered what he had ever seen in Aaron in the first place. Somehow though he was still able to break his heart. Twice. Once when he dumped him. Second time was now.

"I really don't seem to being doing a very good job of cheering you up," Jude told him.

"Well I shouldn't be upset about this anyway. With everything that's going on, what happened with Aaron really doesn't matter," Ludger said feeling like an idiot for letting it get to him like he was.

"You're only human Ludger," Jude said with that kind smile that made his heart flutter. Ludger rested his head in his hands. The last thing he needed was to like someone. Especially someone that was in love with someone else. Maybe he was cursed in love.

"Why don't we watch a movie? Take a break tonight. No worries," Jude said with that same smile. Ludger's heart did another flip-flop. Definitely cursed.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**Present Day…**_

Jude sat in a lawn chair enjoying the view of the ocean while Ludger slept in the lawn chair next to him. This would be their last night here; Jude wished that they could stay longer. Ludger was doing better but the younger man still wasn't back to the way he was. Jude could hear him pacing in the living room at night. He had a feeling that Ludger was hiding his nightmares from him. The upside though was that Ludger was eating again and had gained some weight.

He just wished there was more that he could do to help him. Jude talked it over with Alvin about where Ludger was going to stay. They both agreed with him was best as Ludger seemed to trust Jude the most; why he trusted him so much Jude couldn't help but to wonder. Luckily Jude had a spare room that he used as a study. Alvin said that he would have it cleaned up and have it ready as a bedroom for when they returned.

Ludger let out a quiet whimper and Jude looked over at him. The younger man was twitching in his sleep. It was obvious that he was having another nightmare and Jude was torn at what to do. He hated watching Ludger suffer but sometimes when he tried to wake Ludger he inadvertently made it worse. This time though Ludger was able to wake himself looking only momentarily disoriented as he slowly sat up and sleepily rubbed his eyes.

"Have a nice nap?" Jude asked him. Ludger shrugged as he nervously rubbed his arm before looking sadly at the setting sun. "I know I'm not looking forward to going back either. It's been nice here." Ludger nervously chewed his bottom lip before picking up his notepad and quickly scribbled something down.

_What am I going to do now?_

Jude tiredly ran his hand through his hair knowing Ludger wasn't talking about where he was going to live as he already discussed that with him. "You just need to take it one day at a time. You've already come along way. There's no rush." Ludger though still looked uncertain. "It'll be alright you'll see." Jude told him.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Ludger watched as Jude got ready for work. They had been back for two days now and the younger man…no older man; he had to constantly remind himself of that. The older man was finally getting back to his life. When Ludger had agreed to come back he never meant to disrupt Jude's life like he had.

"Don't look like that," Jude scolded. Luger looked down at his lap. For some reason, most of the time, Jude knew what he was thinking. "Now I want you to text me if you need anything." Ludger scowled down at the GHS Alvin had bought him. They were doing too much for him. How long before they got sick of him?

"I mean it Ludger," Jude said as he brushed the hair out of his eyes. It was one of those little touches. One of the touches the reminded Ludger that he was cared about. How long had it been since he felt safe and cared about? How long had it been since he had been with people that he could trust? Ludger felt his old feelings for Jude begin to stir and he quickly pushed them down. He was too broken. His hands were too bloodied. Jude deserved someone better.

"Maybe I should stay home today…" Jude started to say but Ludger quickly shook his head. Jude needed to get back to work. He knew the other man missed it. "Are you sure?" Ludger nodded then nodded towards the door. He wanted to _tell_ Jude that he was fine but just the idea of talking made it hard for him to breathe. "I'll only go if you promise to text me if you need anything or even if you just get lonely." Ludger bit his already sore lip but gave a slow nod wondering why Jude cared so much. Jude gave him a smile looking happy that he agreed. Again the reason why escaped him.

"Good and I want you to take it easy today and try to get some sleep," Jude told him. Ludger internally winced hoping that Jude hadn't heard him walking around last night but going by the look the other man was giving him it failed. Ludger nodded knowing that if he didn't agree Jude would more than likely stay home. He got a smile in return. "I'll be home for dinner. Do you want me to bring something or do you want to cook?" Ludger looked towards the kitchen. Cooking always helped relax him and he liked cooking for Jude. "Alright I'll see you later tonight." The other man then left.

As soon as the other man was gone Ludger felt the fear start to set in. He hated being alone. When he was alone it felt like his memories were taking over. Everything started to feel unreal. Like he was in a dream and when he opened his eyes…Ludger shook his head. He was safe. He wasn't there. Julius got him out.

Ludger winced at the thought of his brother. It still hurt when he thought about him and what Julius had done to him. The way he found out was nearly as painful too. He knew that his brother loved him but apparently it wasn't always so. Ludger shook his head again. He didn't want to think about that either. That's why he hated being alone. Bad thoughts. Over the last two weeks he got use to Jude always being around reminding him that he wasn't alone.

Not able to stand the silence anymore Ludger turned on the TV. He didn't care so much what he watched; as it was more for the noise. To hear people talking. He then began to clean. Jude's place wasn't really dirty; it was more cluttered than anything. He needed to do something _normal_ though and cleaning was _normal._

He didn't have much normal in The Land of Canaan. Ludger snorted. Nothing was normal there. There was no day. There was no night. There was no rain or snow. It wasn't hot. It wasn't cold. It just was. Like being stuck in a perpetual fog. Eating there too was odd. You ate food but it wasn't really food. It was tasteless and you never felt full, but it would give you the nutrition that you needed. Sleep was about the only thing that was the same there. Not that he had a lot of sleep there or lately for that matter. In all honestly he didn't want to sleep. Too many bad memories.

Ludger glanced at the clock and once again bit his lip. It had only been an hour since Jude left. He wished that Jude was a messier person as now he had nothing to do. There had to be something else that he could do to keep busy.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Jude looked down at his phone with a frown. It was nearly lunchtime and Ludger had yet to text him. He hoped that the younger man was okay. Jude decided to take a break and text him to see how he was doing. He was on his way to do just that when Alvin he literally ran into Alvin.

"Alvin what are you doing here?" Jude asked him curiously.

"I thought we could do lunch or something," Alvin said looking nervous.

"Sure," Jude agreed as it looked as if his friend was upset. "I was about to take a break anyway."

"So how's your first day back at work going?" Alvin asked with that smile he gave when he was trying really hard to hide something.

"Okay or at least so far," Jude said as he gave the man shrewd look. "What's up with you though?"

"Nothing," Alvin said as they walked into the small cafeteria

"Right," Jude said as grabbed a sandwich and a bottle of water from the cooler while Alvin didn't grab anything at all. Jude raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted lunch?"

"I…ah…actually there's something that I need to talk to you about," Alvin finally admitted.

"Would this conversation be better done in private?" Jude asked.

"Probably," Alvin admitted.

"Then let's go to my office," Jude said as they rode the elevator up to the top floor. On the way though he pulled out his phone and quickly shot Ludger a text asking how he was doing. He wasn't surprised when he got one right back that simply said fine. He sighed. He hated the word fine. Fine could mean anything.

"So what did you need to talk to me about?" Jude asked and tried not to fidget as Alvin nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Alvin was stalling and that wasn't a good sign.

"It's about Ludger and him being back," Alvin said.

"Oh," Jude said feeling a small amount of dread. Alvin nodded.

"Elle and Elize were able to figure out that he was back," Alvin told him.

"How?" Jude asked curiously.

"He's watch started working again. The girls actually called while you guys were on your vacation. They were all set to go and look for him," Alvin said with a small smile.

"And what did you tell them?" Jude asked.

"Most of the truth," Alvin said with a shrug. "I didn't tell them how bad off he really was just that he needed time. Elle asked me to keep her updated about how he was doing. I know that she really wants to see him though." Jude ran a hand through his hair. He really should have been expecting this.

"I don't think he's ready to see everyone yet. He's only been back a couple of weeks," Jude pointed out.

"How's he doing?" Alvin asked.

"I'd like to think he's doing better. He's eating almost normally again although he still doesn't eat enough. And he's still having nightmare but he's trying to hide those from me," Jude told him. "Besides that he's actually communicating more. Sometimes he'll actually write down what he's thinking. Small steps."

"Small steps," Alvin repeated as he looked down at the ground. "I understand that, I do but I don't know how long the girls can keep quiet."

"You're right," Jude said as he ran a hand through his hair. "It's not fair to ask them or you to keep Ludger being back a secret. But like I said he isn't ready to see anyone else yet."

"Maybe we could just tell them that he's back and that he needs time," Alvin suggested.

"That might be for the best," Jude said as he tiredly ran a hand down his face. Leia and some of the others called him a couple of times and he knew that they suspected something was up. "I just don't know how to tell them."

"I'll take care of that for you," Alvin offered.

"Are you sure?" Jude asked knowing that some of their friends wouldn't be happy that they had kept Ludger's return a secret. Alvin nodded.

"It's the least I can do," Alvin said as he headed towards the door.

"Alvin you've already done plenty," Jude told him. "I honestly don't know what I would have done without your help these last couple of weeks."

"But compared to you I have the easy part," Alvin told him. "I'll call you later to let you know how it went."

After Alvin had left Jude was tempted to go home and see just how Ludger was doing that was until someone knocked on his door and said that there was a problem in the lab. Jude sighed. He was back one day and they already needed him to fix all the little things. He really wished he was back at the bungalow with Ludger.

Jude spent the rest of the day working on and doing things that should have been done while he was gone. The morning had been relatively quiet compared to the afternoon. It was early evening by the time that Jude finally made it home. They asked them to stay later but he told them no.

Jude smiled as he walked into his house…no not just his house anymore. It was a nice change not going back to some place that was cold and lonely. The first thing he noticed when he walked inside was the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen. The second was that the TV was on. The third was the bucket standing in the corner with a pair of cleaning gloves hanging over the side.

"Ludger," Jude called out as he didn't see the younger man. Ludger came from the direction of the bathroom with a cleaning rag thrown over his shoulder. The man gave him a smile which Jude returned; he was glad that Ludger was smiling more. "How was your day?" Ludger shrugged in response and much like fine it didn't answer a lot of questions. The younger man then nodded at him. "My day?" A nod. "It was busy. Did you by chance scrub the floors?" He looked down at his kitchen floor and he could practically see his reflection in it. Ludger bit his raw looking lip and nodded.

"You don't have to do things like that," Jude told him. The last thing he wanted was Ludger thinking that he had he owed him. Ludger nodded though and began to rub his arm. Jude then knew that Ludger felt that he had to for whatever reason. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ludger looked hesitant but he finally pulled out his little notepad from his pocket and wrote something down. _Normal._

"Normal?" Jude asked. "Cleaning makes you feel normal?" A small nod. Jude frowned at hearing that but at least it wasn't harmful. He would have to think of something else that Ludger could do during the day that would keep him occupied though. "Well the place never looked cleaner." Ludger looked truly pleased by the praised and once again Jude found himself smiling. Small steps.


	6. Chapter 6

**Review Thanks:**

**ben4kevin: **Yeah I like Ludger too. It's why I am so mean to him. Of course Jude will have a few problems as well ;)

**Orpheus Thanatos Messiah: **Yes to tweaking the characters ages. The others I think are all pretty close to canon except Julius. I am making him several years older. Like you said author's privilege ;)

**Otoya Ichinose: **Alvin is going to have a big-brother type roll in this story and he does feel like he owes them. As for Ludger starting to like Jude even in the game Jude seemed to spend more time with Ludger than the others. The game even seemed to slash them!

**blackkyu: **yes the small steps will be blown out of the water and soon. Very soon ;)

**ryoko126: **Thank you very much! Yes Jude is the perfect person to help him.

**oblivion9032:** Thank you! There is an extreme lack of stories with this pairing. And I thought it was so obvious during the game.

**Fenrir: **Thank you! I am going to try to update once a week but that will probably start to slow down with the holidays coming up. Yeah Aaron is a jerk. I didn't like how he was so rude to Ludger in the game so I made him worse in my story. He'll probably make an unwanted appearance later in the story as well.

**Bleed Peroxide: **Thank you very much :) (blushes at all of the nice compliments). Yes you're right as an author I do love reading reviews. As for the kidnapping don't worry it will come into play. In a big way ;)

**AN: **Well here's the next chapter of this story. If anyone wants to read an odd pairing I have a story called _Come What May._ It a cross-over story with _Fruits Basket_ and _Natsume __Yūjin-Chō_with Kyo and Natsume being the pairing. As for this story enjoy and please leave a review!

**Concerning Ages Part 2: **I forgot to mention Gaius' age. My bad. He is 43.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_**2 years ago…**_

Elle sniffed quietly as she sat on the ground trying to be quiet. She was supposed to be happy. Today was supposed to be a fun day. She was turning sixteen after all. Sweet sixteen. Even though everyone was throwing her a huge party she couldn't help but feel depressed. They were trying so hard to make today fun for her that she was trying as hard as she could to hide the fact that she just couldn't enjoy the day. That's why she was hiding. Trying to get her emotions under control before she once again joined the party.

"Hey Elle?" Alvin called out. The young girl quickly dried her eyes trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

"Over here!" she called back hoping that her voice didn't waver.

"There you are," Alvin said as he walked over with a smile on his face. "We're ready for the cake and after that the presents!"

"Coming," Elle said as she got up and dusted off her skirt. Alvin though frowned at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Elle told him quickly maybe it was a little too quickly going by the look he was giving her.

"Don't give me that," Alvin said as he continued to frown at her. "Now tell me what's wrong." Elle sighed knowing that she had no choice but to tell him.

"It's just that…" Elle said as she nervously twisted her hands, "I can't help thinking about the _real me. _She would have been six today. Ludger should be celebrating with her and his wife. Instead he," Elle quickly wiped a tear away. "I remember my sixth birthday. My mom wasn't alive but my dad made it special. It isn't right that _she _and Ludger can't have that because of me."

Alvin looked slightly nervous like he was debating himself making Elle wonder what was wrong. The man then sat down and patted the spot next to him so Elle joined him.

"I never told anyone this," Alvin said quietly, "but before we went to Canaan to save you Ludger and I had a talk. He called you _our_ Elle and said that you were going to be the only Elle that our world knew."

"Why? What about my mother?" Elle asked now confused. She knew how much how her father loved her mother.

"He said that he would never marry her. That he would never love her and it wouldn't be fair to marry her just to have a child. He wanted her and her child to have the family they deserved. Not to mention that the baby wouldn't be you," Alvin explained quietly.

"I don't…" Elle said then stopped. She was about to say that she didn't understand then she began to put the little odd pieces that she knew about Ludger together. "Oh! He didn't like girls."

"No, he didn't," Alvin said.

"So that's why he was so upset when Aaron said he hated him," Elle said remembering how sad Ludger had been that day. Maybe he had liked him at one point.

"Aaron? You mean that guy you kicked that one time?" Alvin asked. Elle nodded. After they got back from Canaan she had a few anger issues and when she saw him she released some of it. She was still angry at him at the time for hurting Ludger like he did. Thinking back on it what she screamed at him probably hurt worse than the kick going by the look on his face.

"Did he have anybody that he liked?" Elle asked even though she didn't know if she wanted to know the answer. The idea that he might have left somebody behind heartbroken and alone…

"There was someone that he liked but they didn't know," Alvin said with a shrug.

"It was Jude, wasn't it?" Elle said after she thought about it a moment.

"How did you?" Alvin asked looking surprised. Now it was Elle's turn to shrug.

"Because Jude always hung around," Elle said then looked down at her lap. "Are you sure that he didn't know or like Ludger back?"

"Not that I am aware of. Why do you ask?" Alvin asked.

"I don't know," Elle said with another shrug. "Like I said Jude was always around and that one time when Ludger was so upset by what Aaron said I called everyone and Jude was the only one that came."

"Ouch. Way to make me feel like the bad guy," Alvin said with a wince.

"Didn't mean to," Elle told him.

"You know I honestly wondered that myself," Alvin said as ran his fingers through his hair. "If he did I don't think he realized it."

"Hmmm," Elle hummed. "Maybe it's better that way. If he knew I think that it would have hurt him more."

"Ludger said the same thing," Alvin said with a sad smile. "You feeling better now?"

"A little. I still miss him though," Elle said.

"I know. We all do but remember that he called you _our _Elle and he'd want you to be happy. Don't go thinking about what could have been if things had been reversed," Alvin told her.

"I'll try not to," she told him.

"Good," Alvin said as he got up. "Now how about that cake and those presents."

"Sounds good," Elle said as she also got up and followed Alvin back to the party. It helped a little bit knowing that she didn't replace someone that could have been born.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**2 weeks ago…**_

After Alvin left Jude at his place of work he was at a lost to what to do. He was already regretting saying that he would tell everyone that Ludger was back. He had a feeling that they wouldn't be very happy that it had been kept from them. Especially Leia. Now that she was a reporter she liked to know what was going on. It was also why he was thinking that it would be a good idea if he told her last. He was worried that her reporter instinct would kick in and she would try to contact Jude and Ludger in some way. The question was though who to tell first. He figured that Rowen would probably be the best as he was the most leveled headed for the ones that didn't know.

So he took the train from Helioborg Town to Marksburg. He let out a long sigh as he watched the country side fly by. A lot had changed in the last several years. The town being one of them. Since so many people worked at the research station a town just kind of grew around it. It wasn't very big and most of the people that lived there either worked at the research station or had family that did. Still it was growing.

Once he reached Marksburg he took a ship to a port and then another train to Hamil. One of the biggest changes was the fact that Rieze Maxia now had a train system as well. It sure did make things a lot easier than going on foot. Still it was a long trip as it took nearly two days to get there. Along the way though he made sure to call them and tell Rowen that he was coming for a visit.

"Alvin it's so good to see you," Rowen said as he ushered him into the small but comfortable home that him and Marcia had retired to. Wanting peace and quiet after years of nonstop working they had decided that the quietness of Hamil suited them best.

"Good to see you too," Alvin said as he sat down on the couch and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. "So where's Marcia?"

"She's visiting her sister," Rowen told him. "The two of them are making wedding plans. Well more like she's talking her sister out of anything too big. At our age it's really not necessary."

"Oh, come on Rowen you're not that old," Alvin said with a wave of his hand.

"Alvin I'm seventy-three," Rowen said with a small chuckle. Alvin nodded. Sometimes he forgot how old Rowen was as he didn't look it nor act it. "Now I highly doubted that you came all the way her to discuss my age or my wedding plans."

"You're right. There is something that we need to talk about," Alvin said as he ran his hand through his hair. "It's about Ludger."

"Oh," Rowen said his eyes going wide. Alvin then launched into the story omitting the things that Ludger and Jude didn't want the others to know about.

"I see," Rowen said as he ran a hand down his face. "So there was a war in Canaan and he's been back about two weeks."

"Pretty much. The war was rough on him and he's having a hard time adjusting to being back," Alvin told him.

"It's understandable that he's not ready to see everyone yet. Does Elle know at least?" Rowen asked.

"Yeah. Both her and Elize. Ludger's watch started working again and they called me all set to go and look for him. I told them what was going on and they agreed to wait," Alvin said. Elle in fact had called him the other day to see how Ludger was doing.

"What about the others?" Rowen asked.

"Not yet. I'm going to visit Gaius and after that I'll tell Leia," Alvin said worried about how those two were going to take it.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Rowen felt a since of nostalgia as he thought about his travels. Alvin had left about an hour ago, after resting for the night, and the reality of what he said had finally began to sink in. Ludger was back.

"Is everything alright?" Marcia said as she walked into their living room.

"How was your visit with your sister?" Rowen asked instead. He had asked Alvin if he would have been opposed to him telling Marcia of Ludger's return. Alvin said it was fine and just asked that they told no one else.

"Fine although she still wants us to have the big wedding," Marcia said as she gave him a skeptical look. The woman was too perceptive for her own good. "Now what did Alvin have to tell you. Was it bad news?"

"No, it was actually good," Rowen told her. "Do you remember that young man Ludger I traveled with for a while?"

"Yes you mention him often," Marcia said with a small smile which Rowen returned. They didn't have a traditional relationship but they understood each other on an intellectual level and most of all they cared about each other.

"Alvin told me that he's back," Rowen told her.

"Back?" Marcia said looking surprised. "How is that even possible?"

"Apparently he helped Origin in a war in The Land of Canaan and he earned a spot back," Rowen told her leaving out how Alvin explained how there was a spot open. No one but their group knew the truth about Elle, her father, and Ludger. "According to Alvin he's having hard time adjusting being back and isn't ready to see everyone yet."

"Well he's back among friends now," Marcia said as she laid a gently hand on his shoulder.

"That he is," Rowen said. And he would do whatever was in his power to help the young man.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**3 days later…**_

Alvin spent one day at Rowen's before he was back to traveling again. This time it took three days of travel as the trains did not do well in the cold. Not that he could blame them as he wasn't a fan of the cold himself. Just like with Rowen he had called Gaius and told him that he was coming for a friendly visit not business. Because of this Alvin had to spend most of the day in his guest room waiting until Gaius could have time to see him. Which was fine with him as he had a lot of business calls to make. It was late evening when Gaius finally showed up.

"You know for someone who's here for a friendly visit you look awfully nervous," Gaius said as he sat in one of the chairs in front of the fire.

"That's because I have something important to tell you," Alvin said then once again launched into the story. It was more difficult to gauge the man's reaction because he remained stoic the entire time he was telling it.

"I see," Gaius said without emotion. "So Ludger is back." Alvin nodded. "I will respect his wishes and wait until he's ready before I contact him."

"You aren't upset that we didn't tell you right away?" Alvin asked hesitantly.

"Not at all. I understand one's need for solitude," the man answered.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Gaius took a small sip from his glass as he looked at the picture on his mantel. It was the one of him, Ludger, Muzet, and the group of friends they had made. This was one of the only pictures he had of where he was just Erston. If it wasn't for Ludger talking him out of getting rid of the camera he would have lost this memento and it would have been added to his long list of regrets. Especially after what happened to the young man.

Gaius tenderly rubbed his cheek. He swore that it still hurt from where his sister slapped him all of those years ago. Before they went to fight in Canaan he went to visit Karla. The young woman had a few choice words for him when she found out what Ludger was forced to do and how callous he had been at the time. He realized after her rant how right she was. He promised her and himself that he would make it up to his friend when they got back. Something that he was never able to do. With Ludger being back he could now finally make amends.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**4 days later…**_

Alvin stayed one day with Gaius as well before he once again was on the road. This time he was in Trigleph after another three days of travel. He added how long he had been traveling and realized that it had been over a week. In retrospect he knew that it would have been much easier to call everyone than visit but news like this was best given in person.

He took a deep breath as he knocked on Leia's front door. He had called her and told her that he had news that couldn't be overheard; he figured a newspaper office would be the worst place to tell her. So she 'took' the day off and said he could visit her at home. His hand was ready to knock on her front door when Leia opened it.

"So what's the news?" Leia asked her eyes shining with excitement.

"Can I come in first?" Alvin asked.

"Oh, sorry," Leia said sheepishly as she opened the door wider so he could come in. Alvin sat down nervously on her couch. So far the reactions had been favorable but he had a feeling that it wasn't going to be that way with Leia. "Now tell me the news! I know something is going on. Something big. I've called Jude a few times lately and he ends my calls quicker than usual."

"You do realize what I am about to tell you is off the record," Alvin said. Not that he didn't trust her but he wanted to hammer in how important it was that she kept quiet.

"I know," Leia said seeming to calm down. "I promise what you tell me won't leave this room."

So Alvin once again launched into the story. Unfortunately unlike his previous two friends he could read Leia's emotions easily.

"I kept believe you kept Ludger's return a secret!" Leia snapped as her eyes flashed dangerously.

"He didn't want anyone knowing that he was back," Alvin told her.

"But I…"

"No buts Leia. That war was really rough on him," Alvin explained.

"I understand that but I want to see him," Leia said with a frown.

"Just give him time," Alvin told her. Leia gave a slow nod in return.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Leia didn't know what to think after Alvin had left. She was happy that Ludger was back. Extremely happy but she was hurt that they had kept it from her. She had even called Jude but his phone calls where very short and brisk. Ludger though, going by what Alvin said, was not how she remembered him.

He needed time. So time was what she would give him. She had been meaning to do a story on how the new transit systems were changing both countries for the good and not so good. Maybe she would take a trip and explore the issue. That should keep her occupied. Hopeful when she got back Ludger would be ready for visitors.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_**Present Day…**_

Jude looked across the table at Ludger as they ate their quiet dinner which was even more quiet than usual; which was quite a feat given the fact that Ludger had yet to say a word. They had been back two weeks from their trip and he had yet to tell Ludger that everyone knew that he was back. Ludger seemed to be doing better although Jude still heard him walking around at night. Alvin had called him and said that everyone had agreed to give Ludger the time that he need even though they were all eager to see him. Ludger waved a hand in front of his face breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry what?" Jude asked coming back to himself. Ludger tiled his head to the side with a frown on his face. "Nothing's wrong per se." Ludger's frown turned into a scowl making Jude sigh. "Alright it's just," he nervously ran a hand through his hair, "everyone knows you're back and they want to see you." Ludger shrunk in on himself and shook his head.

"Why?" Jude asked. Ludger nervously bit his bottom lip as he slowly pulled out his small notepad and wrote something down. _Disappointed. _"Disappointed? Why would you think they would be disappointed?" Ludger again wrote something down. _Broken. _

"Oh Ludger," Jude said as he went and kneeled in front of the other man and gently brushed the hair from his eyes. "You aren't broken…" Ludger shook his head. "You might be a little dented but you aren't broken." Ludger wouldn't look at him. "No one's going to be disappointed. They just want to see _you._" Ludger though still wouldn't look at him.

"Look I know you're tired and that you haven't been sleeping," Jude told him. Ludger winced. "How about I give you something to help you get a good night's sleep and then we can talk about it more in the morning." Jude felt some relief when Ludger nodded.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_He was back here. How was he back here? This was a dream! He knew he was out. Safe. He just needed to wake up. Why couldn't he wake up? He was always able to wake up before! This dream though it was different. It felt real. _

"_Did you really think you could get away from me?" Ludger heard someone ask. A voice he knew too well. A voice he thought that he would never hear again. A voice he didn't want to hear. _

_He needed to get away. He need to do something before they hurt him again. When they touched him he instinctively flinched. He didn't want the pain. They went to touch him again so he reacted. _

Ludger sat bolt upright in bed. His heart racing. Still disoriented from his dream. He was back in his room with Jude. Jude looked hurt and there was blood on his hand. He felt sick. He had hurt Jude! He knew it. He was bad. His hands too bloodied. All he did was hurt people. He needed to go before he hurt Jude again. Before he did something worse. So he did the only thing he could do. He ran.

* * *

**AN2: **Please don't hate me for how I ended it. Next chapter will be up by next Monday or Tuesday. Promise. Again please leave a review as I love reading them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Review Thanks:**

**Parodychick: **Now that's the question! When I was first playing the game it was going to be Jude until I saw the scene after the whole Victor thing. When Jude caught Ludger and all of the other cute stuff that happened at dinner but then again…I think they're the couple that likes to switch things up ;)

**Fenrir: **Sorry hope the wait wasn't too long :)

**ben4kevin:** I think you'd have to fight Jude for that ;)

**blackkyu: **Sorry for the abruptness. Jude's POV for the whole thing is the beginning of this chapter. Ludger's POV just didn't fit anywhere else. I'm glad you liked the first part!

**Otoya Ichinose:** Thank you for such nice compliments! Eventually you will find out who's the one that haunts Ludger but it's going to be a bit yet. And I love getting writing advice! It's one of the reasons I put stories up here. I want to improve.

**OldManNevar: **Thank you very much!

**cloudybreaths: **I'm happy someone liked Elle's birthday. I hope I do okay writing an older Elle. As for how long the story is I'm not sure. I have around 4 arcs planned for this story. It's going to be fairly long though. Hope that's okay ;)

**kaitoshion1993: **Wow thank you very much (I am extremely flattered). And yes Milla and Muzet will be making an appearance in this story ;)

**ryoko1269: **Thank you! I tend to like reading and writing slower relationships.

**Guest: **Thanks!

**rpglady76: **No worries Julius will be showing up again. Very soon in fact ;)

**Time Heals All: **Thank you! I can see something between Alvin and Leia. Not sure about Milla. A lot of people think so but I didn't see it that way. I thought it had to be a fossil (shrugs) And no worries Ludger will reunite with everyone soon;)

**AN: **Sorry I got this chapter up so late today but I still have a nasty cold and I had my niece and nephews most of the week. I actually didn't finish writing this chapter until this afternoon. On a side note Jude's kidnapping is going to come into play soon (I know a lot of you are curious about that). Next Chapter will be up Monday or Tuesday. Please leave a review!

* * *

**Chapter 7**

As soon as they were done with their meal Jude made sure that Ludger was tucked in his bed before giving him the medicine. It was stronger than the stuff he had given Ludger in the past and he wanted the younger man lying down when it took effect. Sure enough a few minutes after he had taken it Ludger was sleeping. Jude pulled up the blankets and made sure Ludger's bedside lamp was on before he left the room. He looked back at the sleeping man and wished that there was more that he could do for him. Jude turned off the main light and the small lamp gave the room a warm, comforting glow.

Feeling tired but not sleepy Jude thought that he might read a book to help relax him. He knew that he should do some work on his new research project but he was mentally exhausted. The last couple of weeks had been long. There was a lot of back work that he needed to catch up on from his time away; apparently no one could do anything without his approval or more like they didn't want the responsibility. The one that made the decisions was the one who got in trouble.

Jude found the novel the girls had asked him to read a couple of years ago that he just never had the time nor inclination to read. He had read the first few chapters wondering how anyone could find that cute or romantic when he thought that he heard a noise come from Ludger's room. He set the book down and went to look in the small bedroom.

Ludger was lying on his bed with his blankets twisted around him so severely that they were almost pinning him to the bed. Knowing how restrictive movement upset him Jude went to try and untangle the younger man when he noticed how hard Ludger was breathing and how much he was sweating. Jude swore to himself. It looked as if Ludger was having a reaction to the medication.

"Ludger," Jude said as he gently laid a hand on the man's arm and winced when he felt how cold and clammy his skin was. Ludger pulled away from his touch and began to violently struggle against the blankets.

Worried that he was going to fall off the bed and hurt himself Jude began to try and untangle the frightened man all the while trying to talk to him. Ludger though seemed to be trapped in his nightmare and nothing Jude said reached them. Worried that the medication was a major cause of what was going on Jude was tempted to call a doctor and see if there was anything they could do to help when Ludger finally broke free of the blankets that had been restraining him.

Ludger sat up bolt right and Jude wasn't sure what really happened next. Suddenly his nose really hurting and he was seeing stars. He shook his head trying to clearing it when he heard the unmistakable sound of the front door bursting open. He would have to worry about his nose later. He needed to stop Ludger before the younger man got too far away.

Jude got up and quickly ran after him. It was fairly late and the city had pretty much closed up for the night so there wasn't too many places that Ludger could go. Jude internally winced when he realized that Ludger wouldn't know where to go as the younger man had never been out in the city. He would have to change that. It wasn't a good thing that Ludger knew nothing about the place that he was living in.

He saw the shadow of someone running down the dimly lit street and quickly went after them. Ludger, or who he was assuming to be Ludger, was fairly far ahead of him and Jude was worried that he wouldn't be able to catch up when they tripped and fell. Jude quickened his pace and when he got closer he heard the unmistakable sound of someone emptying their stomach. Jude winced at the sound but he hoped that would expel the medicine from Ludger's system.

Jude kneeled next to the fallen man and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. Ludger flinched at his touch and Jude was a little hurt by it and pulled his hand back quickly; it had been awhile since Ludger had flinched away from him.

"Let's go home," Jude said as he once again laid a hand on the frightened man's shoulder. Ludger didn't pull away from him this time but Jude could feel how tense his muscles were. He gently helped Ludger up and the two of them slowly made their way back. The entire time though Ludger wouldn't even look at him making Jude feel a since of dread. What if Ludger no longer trusted him? After all he was the one that gave Ludger that stupid medicine that caused this.

Once they made it back home Ludger immediately walked into his bedroom and quietly closed the door behind him; the younger man had yet to look at him. Jude felt terrible. He was now convinced that Ludger no longer trusted him. If Ludger no longer trusted him then how could he help him? Not knowing what else to do Jude sat in front of Ludger's bedroom door in case the younger man needed him for anything. Now he just needed to figure out a way to earn Ludger's trust back.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Alvin had to admit that as he knocked on Jude's front door he was worried. He had texted Ludger that morning to see if Ludger would mind if he dropped by for lunch and he didn't get a text back. Ludger always texted him back. He almost called Jude at work to see what was going on but he didn't want to worry Jude unless there was something for him to worry about. He felt some relief when the door opened.

"Alvin what are you doing here?" Jude asked as he gave Alvin a very confused look.

"What happened to you?" Alvin countered equally confused as why Jude was standing there with a slightly swollen nose and red eyes.

"I didn't heal it in time so it's still a bit swollen," Jude said as he gingerly touched his nose.

"That still doesn't explain what happened," Alvin said as he crossed his arms over his chest trying to hide how nervous he was. If, for some reason, Jude and Ludger had a fight he knew how devastating it would be for the both of them.

"It's a long story so you better come in," Jude said as he held the door open for him. Alvin listened quietly as Jude explained what happened the previous night looking on the verge of tears the entire time. Not that he could really blame him as it sounded as if his friends been through an emotional ringer.

"So he hasn't…" Alvin asked trying to figure out how to ask his question. He would normally say talked but since Ludger didn't speak.

"His bedroom door is locked and he won't answer when I knock," Jude said as he looked down at his hands helplessly. "He won't react to anything say. Alvin if he doesn't trust me anymore…"

"I'm sure that's not the case," Alvin told him hoping that it was true. Jude gave him a defeated look in return. "Would you like me to talk to him for you?"

"I'd appreciate it," Jude said sounding hopefully.

Alvin gave him what he thought was an encouraging smile and then made his way to Ludger's bedroom. He hesitated a moment before he knocked on the door. Not surprisingly Ludger didn't answer so Alvin jimmied the lock and let himself in. He found Ludger lying on his bed and cocooned in blankets in an obvious attempt to try and shut out the world.

"Ludger," Alvin called out to let the younger man know it was him. The lump shifted slightly. "Jude said you had a rough night." Another shift. Alvin took that as a good sign at least Ludger was listening to him. "He's worried." Alvin made himself comfortable in the chair. "He thinks that you don't trust him anymore." That got a reaction out of Ludger but not the one that Alvin was expecting as the younger man quickly sat up, began to frantically shake his head, then point to himself.

"I don't understand," Alvin said. He figured that Ludger still trusted Jude but the younger man was still struggling with something; something that he couldn't discuss with Jude. Ludger bit his already bloody lip as he grabbed his notepad off of his nightstand and scribbled something down.

_Hurt Him._ Ludger wore in very shaky handwriting. So much so that Alvin struggled to read it.

"Hurt Him?" Alvin asked. "You mean Jude?" Ludger nodded. "He's fine…" Ludger cut him off with another shake of his head. Alvin had a feeling that Ludger wasn't in a state of mind to be placated. "Alright you did hurt him but he's fine now and he's not upset with you." Ludger gave him a confused look then wrote something else down. _Why? _He then circled the world hurt several times.

"Ludger what you did was minor," Alvin tried to reason with him. "Jude explained what happened. It wasn't really your fault and we both know that you wouldn't hurt him…" Ludger once again shook his head and wrote something else down. _Victor. _Alvin ran his hand through his hair. No one that went to that dimension liked talking about what happened but Jude explained it to him.

"Do you remember that last talk we had before…" Alvin said and let his voice trail off as he really didn't like what came after and he was sure that Ludger felt the same way. Ludger gave a small nod and his cheeks were tinged pink. He wondered if Ludger still had feelings for Jude and if that was one of the reasons that he was so upset. The matter of the younger man liking Jude was best left for another time though.

"Then you remember what you said about Elle's mother? How you couldn't love her?" Ludger nodded and sniffed. "That you were a different person." No nod this time but he got a sniff. "This is the same thing. You're a different person. _You_ wouldn't hurt us. You also called Elle _our _Elle. Well you're _our_ Ludger and you're the only one that we care about." Ludger had calmed down slightly but he still looked really upset. What happened last night seemed to have really thrown him. "Just talk to him. He'll forgive you." Ludger pointed to_ Why?_ looking honestly uncertain.

"Look," Alvin as he leaned back in his chair trying to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to tell the younger man. "I kind of know what you're going through. The guilt I mean." Ludger gave him a questioning look. "Shortly after we thought that Milla died none of us were in a good place. Jude talked about that a little bit." Ludger nodded. "Well something happened between me, Leia, and Jude that none of us like talking about.

"I actually…" Alvin ran his hand through his hair in frustration. He didn't even like to admit this part to himself and he certainly didn't like saying it out loud. Ludger gave him a sympathetic look and wrote something down. _You don't have to. _Alvin gave him a small smile in return.

"Well let's just say that I did something really bad to them and hurt them both. They forgave me and I tried to hurt them. You didn't know it was Jude when you acted out." Ludger shook his head. "And if you did know it was him you would have never attacked." A nod albeit a bit hesitant. "Then you really have nothing to be sorry for. Besides he's really worried. Not to mention that when you care about someone you'll forgive them for pretty much anything." Ludger chewed on his bottom lip as he looked anxiously at the bedroom door and Alvin hoped that he had gotten through to him.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Jude nervously paced in front of the room. He could hear Alvin's quiet voice but nothing from Ludger; not that he would. Still if Alvin was talking to him that must mean that Ludger was alright. He had been worried that Ludger might have been hurt or ill from the medication. The only reason he hadn't broken in the room himself was because he wanted to earn Ludger's trust back. He figured the last way to do that was force himself on the younger when he clearly wasn't wanted. He just hoped Ludger would forgive him.

The bedroom door finally opened and a red eyed Ludger stepped out looking distraught. Jude was about to apologize to the younger man when Ludger shoved a rumpled piece of paper at him. Jude unfolded it curiously and saw one word written several times. _Sorry. _

"Sorry?" Jude asked curiously. "What are you sorry?" Ludger sniffed as he pointed to Jude's still slightly swollen nose. Jude was about to tell him that he was fine when Ludger pulled him in to a hug and began to heavily sob into his shoulder. Jude wrapped his arms around the trembling man. "This is nothing. I've gotten more hurt in training sessions with Leia." Ludger didn't respond and just continued to cry. Jude gave Alvin a questioning look.

"Victor came up," Alvin said quietly. Jude internally winced when he heard that. Even though Victor was supposedly Ludger from an alternate future he had a hard time thinking of them as the same person.

"Ludger you aren't him and you would never hurt us" Jude told him. In response Ludger gripped him more tightly and his sobs became harsher.

"I'll…ah…let you handle this," Alvin said as he nervously picked up the book from the coffee table that Jude had been reading last night. "I'll be in here if you need me." Alvin then walked back into Ludger's room.

"Come on let's sit down," Jude said as he guided the younger man over to the couch. Even once they were sitting down Ludger had yet to let go of him and he continued to cry. Even though it broke his heart to do so Jude let him cry. Ludger had cried a few times in front of him but he always managed to get himself under control and put his mask back on. This time though it was different. Jude had a feeling that this breakdown had to deal with everything that he had been through. The incident last night was just too much for the younger man.

"It'll be alright," Jude told him hoping to give the younger man some sort of comfort. Jude continued to hold his friend and tried to comfort him the best he could until Ludger finally cried himself to sleep.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

_When Jude next opened his eyes he swore under his breath. His was in that dream world again. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. He wanted to stay awake incase Ludger needed him. But he was so tired after last night that once Ludger had cried himself to sleep he found it difficult to keep his eyes open. _

_Once again they were in a park except this time it was night. A child Ludger was sitting on the front step looking forlornly at the walkway obviously waiting for his older brother. The little boy let out a sad sigh. _

"_Your brother not home again," a woman said as she came out of the building. _

"_No," little Ludger said sadly, "but he does really important things at work."_

"_Hmmm," the woman hummed looking none too happy. "Well would you like to come over for dinner?"_

"_That's okay," little Ludger said as he got up. "I already made dinner." _

"_Alright," the woman said with a kind smile then walked into the building. Little Ludger gave the walkway one last sad look before he too went inside the building. _

"_Ludger always said that I was the one that protected him when in truth if he wasn't around I would have given up a long time ago," Julius said suddenly appearing next to him._

"_What happened in the war? I need to know more so I can help him?" Jude asked the man. _

"_It's complicated," Julius said as he looked at the ground._

"_Complicated!" Jude snapped. "I don't care how complicated it is. I need to help him! You don't have to hear his nightmares!"_

"_I know very well about his nightmares!" Julius said as he rounded on him and his eyes flashed dangerously. "I was the one that got him out of that place."_

"_It's more than what happened there," Jude said as he held his ground. _

"_You're right," Julius said as he seemed to deflate. "I asked too much of him. Destroying those dimensions. Forcing him to kill me. Than that damn war…"_

"_We all asked too much of him," Jude said as he remember how both Milla and Gaius tested him and when they all just stood there as he was forced to kill Julius. Telling him there was no other way even when he pleaded with them for help. "That's why I need to know what else happened during that war. I want to help him." In truth he needed to help him. To make up for what they forced him to do._

"_To put it simply all of those people in all those dimensions had their own souls. Most of them were willing to be reborn but a lot of them weren't. They were angry that their lives had been ended so suddenly and the reason for it. Something that they reminded us of constantly," Julius began to explain._

"_So in a way they were people that he knew or at least in away," Jude said feeling sick at what Ludger had to go through. _

"_Some of them were and some weren't. But when your soul 'dies' in Canaan…there's nothing after that," Julius said his voice devoid of emotion. Jude put his hand on his rapidly beating heart. The war was worse than he thought. And if Ludger had died there…Jude didn't even want to contemplate it. _

"_No wonder he's so upset by the idea of hurting us," Jude mumbled to himself. _

"_How is he doing?" Julius asked quietly and with a hint of sadness. _

"_Better. There was a little setback last night but overall he's doing better," Jude told him. Julius gave him a genuine smile. _

"_I'm glad to hear it," Julius said looking relieved. "I knew by the way Ludger talked about you that you were a good person." Jude felt himself blush at that. For some reason it made him happy that Ludger told Julius about him. _

"_Julius can I ask you something else?" Jude asked. The man nodded although he once again seemed on edge. "How can you talk to me like this?"_

"_My watch," Julius said with a smile. "You have it, don't you?"_

"_Ah yeah," Jude said. "Elle gave it to me." _

"_Don't lose it," Julius told him then faded away. _

"_Now that I have more of an idea of what he's been through I can do more to help him," Jude mumbled to himself as the dream too faded away. _

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

It was quiet in the living room and had been for a while. Wondering if everything was okay Alvin decided that he better go check on the boys. He found them sleeping on the couch. Jude was lying down and Ludger was lying practically on top of him with Jude's arm wrapped protectively around his waist. Alvin smiled as he covered them with a blanket glad that they were able to work though whatever had happened last night. His smile widened as he pulled out his phone and took a picture. He figured the girls would want to see this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Review Thanks:**

**Parodychick: **Don't worry Ludger will have several times when he becomes protective of Jude ;)

**blackkyu: **You'll get to see very soon how Ludger reacts to Jude actually being in danger ;)

**Time Heals All: **Thank you very much! I'm trying hard to keep them in character :)

**cloudybreaths: **Thank you! And thanks for reading even though you don't read slow relationships. I don't need advice reviews are just as nice ;) The more reviews I get the more inspired I am to write!

**ben4kevin: **He does but that's what Jude is there for ;)

**ChromatusRoses: **Thank you very much! Yes Xillia 2 was a dark story. I actually thought there would be more fix-it stories. I will have to look for yours ;)

**Otoya Ichinose: **I'm glad that the emotions I was going for came across!

**Fenrir: **Julius will be making several appearances so he will be back ;)

**ryoko126: **I already talked to you ;)

**Thoughts on Fractured Dimensions: **Question. Anyone else here a fan of Diana Wynne Jones? I am and I was yelling most of the game that's not how this works! So frustrating. I almost wrote a cross-over one shot with the Chrestomanci series. I wanted Christopher to come in at the end of the game and yell at them for being stupid. Sorry for the rant ;)

**AN: **Here's the next chapter. Sorry it's a little short but it's hard and kind of depressing writing Ludger this way. One or maybe two more chapters like this and then Jude's kidnapping will come up! Next chapter will hopefully be up next Monday or Tuesday. Please leave a review!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**The Struggle Between the Nations: A Look Back by Leia Rolando **

_With the deaths of Ludger Kresnik and Bisley Bakur the Spirius Corporation was left floundering and without a true successor. There were many people that wanted to take over and that started an internal war in the company. Most of the low level employees ended up taking sides. Because of The Spirius Corporations' influence in__,__ pretty much__,__ everything that went on in Elympios the whole country began to suffer._

_Spirius' lack of leadership it also impacted the tentative relationship between the two countries as the people vying for leadership over the corporation had different views on what to do with Rieze Maxia. It got so volatile between the countries that a true war nearly broke out._

_Chancellor Marcia worked tirelessly to try and keep the peace between the two countries while being scrutinized by her peers for not taking a side in who would take over the juggernaut of a company. She believed that a corporation should have no influence over a country's politics. Something that the King of Rieze Maxia, Gauis, and his Prime Minister, Rowen Ilbert, agreed with. This made her even less popular enough so that she almost got voted out of office. _

_It was because of the everyday people and the little things that they did that things finally started to change. Like Alvin formerly Alfred Vint Svent and his growing number of partners in a small company. A company made up of and run by a mix of Rieze Maxians and Elympions. They helped get goods to both countries during the most difficult times to the people that most in need._

_Jude Mathis and his research team were also very influential. They had been working tirelessly on making Spyrix as a source of energy but most Elympions were opposed to the idea as this would change their way of life too drastically. They made their opinions known in a very uncouth and dangerous way. Not wanting to isolate so many people though Jude changed his research. Instead of making Spyrix he developed a machine that took the extra mana and turned that into an alternate energy source. Something that pleased both countries. _

_The Spirius Corporation was eventually taken over by a woman, Justine Calloway, who wasn't even working there at the times of the deaths. Still she was able to calm the company and turn it back into what it once was. Although no one knows a lot about the woman she was still able to run the Spirius Corporation and gain influence in politics as well. _

_Over the last several years the two nations have been through a lot but have come out stronger for it. What the futures holds is still a mystery but if everyone works together it has the potential to be a bright one. _

_**About 18 months ago… **_

Elle clutched on tightly to the object she held in her hand. She was once again at another party although this time it was for Jude for getting the Howe Prize for creating an alternate energy source. The man of honor though was suspiciously missing. She wondered maybe, if much like her birthday, the party was just too much for him. So she set out to look for him.

She eventually found the man standing on the hill looking at up the night sky with a melancholy expression. Ever since her birthday she couldn't stop thinking about what Alvin told her. How Ludger had developed feelings for the other man. She clutched the object in her hand even tighter. She figured that Ludger would want it to belong to someone he cared about.

"I suppose they want me back?" Jude asked without turning around.

"No, I just ah…." Elle said the words getting stuck in her throat. Ever since the kidnapping Jude had been even more closed off than he already was. The only person he saw and talked to on a regular basis was Alvin. Even his friendship with Leia had tapered off. Leia though could be awfully pushy wanting Jude to get over what happened both in Canaan and the kidnapping where Alvin was more laid back and just basically let Jude be. Maybe if Ludger had been alive he would have been able to help Jude get over what he had been through.

"Is something wrong?" Jude asked as he gave her his full attention with a look of concern on his face.

"No I just…" Elle said trying to get up her courage to give it to him. "I wanted to give you something."

"Elle you don't need to give me any…" Jude started to say but Elle cut him off by shoving the object in his hand. The man's eyes went wide as he looked down at it. "Julius' watch? Elle I can't take this." Elle shook her head.

"You were Ludger's best friend Jude and this watch meant a lot to him. I think he'd want you to have it," she told him. She after all she had Ludger's watch. She didn't need Julius' as well. To keep both would be greedy especially after she learned how Ludger felt about his friend.

"I…" Jude stared to say as he looked sadly down at the watch. Elle though that the man was going to try and refuse it yet again but his sad look turned into a sad smile. "Thank you. I'll take good care of it I promise."

"I know you will," she said as she returned the smile.

_**Present Day…**_

It had been two weeks since the incident with Ludger's nightmare and his second talk with Julius. Now that Jude knew more of what Ludger had been though he was able to help his friend even more. He had come to find out the one reasons that he didn't want to see anyone was because he was afraid that he would end up hurting them.

Jude did the best he could to help Ludger realize that he wouldn't. That he wouldn't hurt _them_. In all honestly he had a small idea of what Ludger was going through. The idea that another version of him could fight in a war against someone he considered to be his best friend angered him. What was even more upsetting was that another version of himself might have been the one that tortured Ludger. He had a feeling that if it was another version of himself or someone that Ludger had been close to that the younger man would never relieve the identity.

Another thing he worked on with Ludger was the idea that that he wouldn't be a disappointment to everyone. That they just wanted to see him. Alvin was actually very influential in that area. He spent almost every single afternoon with Ludger over the last few weeks. Taking him out to lunch and just spending time with him doing _normal_ things. It was at the end of these two weeks that Ludger finally agreed that he was ready to start seeing people.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Jude asked him after Ludger wrote down his decision. He didn't want to push the younger man to do something he wasn't ready for. Ludger gave a slow, hesitant, nod as an answer. Jude smiled in relief. "Alright I'll call Alvin then and make arrangements. If you change your mind though, you let me know." Another nod.

After Jude tucked Ludger in bed that night he made a quick phone call to Alvin to let him know of Ludger's decision. Alvin sounded relieved and then they discussed what would be the best way to do this. They came to the conclusion that it would be best to not overwhelm the younger by having something like a welcome back party. So they decided it would be best in small groups with Elle and Elize being the first. Then Leia. As for the others Alvin said he would discuss it more with them since they lived so far away. Jude smiled again as he ended the call. He had a feeling that this would be a step in the right direction for everyone.

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Alvin had called the girls the night before and asked them out to lunch but didn't tell them why. He wanted to see the look on their faces when he told them the news. He was happy that Ludger finally made the decision to see them he just hoped that the young man wasn't pushing himself. Jude though said he would keep him informed incase Ludger changed his mind.

He finally spotted the girls and waved them over. Alvin made reservations at a nice restaurant with a table in the back to give them some privacy. He knew that they would be happy but he also wanted them to understand how shaky Ludger's mental state really was.

"You finally made it," Alvin said as he gave them a cheeky smile.

"That's because this place was hard to find but it's nice," Elize said as she sat down.

"So what's the occasion?" Elle asked as she also sat down.

"I've got some good news. Ludger said he's ready to see you two," Alvin said. Both Elize and Elle gave him dazzling smiles.

"Really?" Elle asked hoping shinning in her eyes.

"Really," Alvin told her.

"So can we go now or…"

"Actually there's a few things we need to discuss," Alvin said quick to cut Elle off. He hated to dampen their mood but they needed to understand. Although Ludger was doing better he still had bad days and little things could set him off. He had jokingly swatted at him and Ludger ended get getting lost in some nightmare because of it. It took him and Jude, mostly Jude, a better part of an hour to calm him down.

"What happened to him Alvin?" Elize asked. They young woman had a serious look on her face while Elle looked more heartbroken.

"He…the war was rough on him. I know I've told you that before but you need to understand that," Alvin told them. Jude explained to him about his second dream with Julius. Even though it sickened him it didn't really surprise him that other versions of him would have fought against Ludger and what upset him even more was that another him also would have no qualms about torturing him either. He hoped though that it wasn't _him_ that hurt his friend. The girls didn't need to be burdened with that though.

"Remember Ludger hasn't aged. He's younger then you now Elize and Elle he's basically your peer," Alvin said.

"I know. I got the picture you sent me," Elize said with a small smile.

"Me too," Elle said as she pulled out her phone and showed him said picture.

"You made it your screen saver!" Alvin said as he looked at the picture of the boys cuddling on the couch fast asleep. "Don't let them see that. They don't even know that I took it." The girls smirked at each other as Elle put her phone away. Alvin hated it but he would once again have to dampen their good mood. He sighed and the girls' moods once again dimmed.

"I've already told you how he can't talk and he hasn't made any real progress in that area. The best he can do is write things down. He's also very…skittish and the more nervous he gets the more skittish he gets. So no sudden movements," Alvin explained. The girls were frowning by the end of it.

"Rowen kind of talked about it to us," Elize said. "He said that sometimes a solider that has been through too much can get lost in their memories. Is that what it is for Ludger?"

"Pretty much," Alvin told her thinking that maybe he should talk to Rowen and see if he had any ideas that might help Ludger. It would have to be something that he would have to discuss with Jude first though. "It's going to be difficult. Seeing him like that. But it's our turn to be strong for him."

"I promise I'll be careful. I just want to see him and I can be strong," Elle said with determination.

"I know," Alvin said as he gave her a kind smile. "I was thinking that maybe tomorrow."

_**~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**_

Ludger watched nervously as Jude talked on the phone with Alvin. The two men were talking about what would be the best day for him to start seeing the others. Jude reassured him that it wouldn't be all at once. Something Ludger was happy with. Too many people made him nervous. Jude finally got off of the phone and gave him a kind smile as he came and sat next to him on the couch.

"Alvin talked with Elle and Elize. He was thinking that tomorrow would be a good day," Jude said. Ludger took a couple of deep breaths to try and calm his rapidly beating hear. Tomorrow! Tomorrow was so quick.

"Is that too soon? Do you need more time?" Jude asked. Ludger shook his head. Maybe seeing them tomorrow would be a good thing. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Get it over quick. He had been putting it off for too long anyway. Just get the disappointment over with. They would see what he was and not want to see him again. Then he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

"Don't get that look," Jude said in his kind way. Jude was always so kind to him. Even after all the bad he did. How many times had _they_ told him how bad he was? _They_ constantly reminded him how he hurt so many people. He even hurt _his_ Jude here yet the other man continued to help him. What made it worse was that Ludger knew Jude blamed himself for it when it was really his fault.

"I'm taking off of work tomorrow so let's have a movie marathon tonight," Jude said again with a kind smile. "We can have popcorn and ice cream…" the man then started to list off good things they could eat. Ludger though really wasn't listening and began to chew his bottom lip. Jude had been talking off of work a lot lately. Why did Jude put up with him?

"Don't do that or you won't get any ice cream," Jude scolded him. Ludger looked at him curiously wondering what he finally did to upset the man. "Chew." Jude then ran his thumb across his bottom lip and Ludger felt his face heat up. "It's never going to heal if you keep chewing on it. We'll have to put some more of that salve on it after we're done eating. Now do you want chocolate syrup on your ice cream?"

Ludger nodded slowly and when Jude was in the kitchen getting their food he felt his face heat up even more. He couldn't like Jude again. He wouldn't! The other man deserved better. It was hard not to like him again though. Why did Jude have to be so Jude?


End file.
